The Blog of Cindy Rule
Just decided to combine my two blogs into one super blog.
So come on by for all things,
Cin
Friday, May 2, 2014
Tuesday, January 22, 2013
It's Sean...THORt of...
Hello Blog Fans!
This is part one of my blog time today...I'm running late and need to get on with my day, but first I wanted to post this...
This is part one of my blog time today...I'm running late and need to get on with my day, but first I wanted to post this...
And then I'd like to wish my wonderful husband a very happy birthday. We gave him this hammer for his birthday and he was a very good sport and agreed to pose for this photo. Actually, he's kicking himself because he suggested it. "Hey I should put on that blond wig and-" and it went from there. However, he was very sad to find out that this will not be a two way street. There will be no pictures of me dressed up as Poison Ivy or Cat Woman posted anywhere on the internet.
Happy Birthday my love, my best friend, my very own super hero.
I shall return with part two...eventually.
Have a good day and always remember to
Cin
Wednesday, December 19, 2012
Nano 2012: Top Dog, Chapter Fourteen
Well Hello Blog Fans
Well here we are...the day you've been waiting for! It's Wiener Wednesday and the day that I post the chapter that will conclude the exciting happening of Tuesday Wiener Night at the Holland Household.
So, I won't waste time with much chatter other than to say that I will be taking a wee break from Wiener Wednesday. I know, I know...sadness...so much sadness...but I have family obligations and Christmas is upon us. I will be back in the new year, probably on January 9th (be sure to mark it on your calendars!) to continue to bring you this ridiculous saga; a saga that I'm not convinced anyone except my daughter is reading.
I wish you all the happiest of Christmas and cheers to fantastic 2013.
Very best,
Cin
Are you back from your break? Are you ready to continue reading about this very exciting Tuesday Wiener Night? Well, I hope so. I wouldn't want to think for even one second that you have drifted off and forgotten about this family and their wiener ways. So before you back out of this chapter, let's continue with the exciting Tuesday Wiener Night in the Holland Household that we were a part of in Chapter Thirteen.
"Hello honey and welcome home. I'm sorry I didn't greet you at the door. I was just so excited preparing the wieners for tonight Tuesday Wiener Night."
"Well, why wouldn't you be excited about preparing Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners for your family. It's the best night a week. "
"Yes preparing wieners on Tuesday; it is the best day for preparing wieners."
"For preparing Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners."
"Yes I had lots of fun preparing those types of wieners in the past."
"You mean you've had fun in the past preparing Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners in the past and you're continuing to have fun now preparing Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners for family. It was fun in the past and it is still fun in the present and there will be fun in the future."
"Yes it was fun preparing Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners in the past and it's really fun preparing wieners now and will continue to be fun in the future."
"Yes exactly preparing—"
"Brent honey why do we just eat the wieners that are quickly getting cold and I'm not sure how these will taste cold."
"What you talking about honey? Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners, although I feel are at their best when they are roasted to perfection, are fine at any temperature. Roasted, cold, had I even eaten them frozen in a pinch. No, nothing destroys the taste of Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners. Alright, enough chit chat; honey please pass me the tray of Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners."
"Here you go."
"Thank-you, my dear wife. Well, now...I don't mean to criticize, but it's funny; these wieners are not quite as meaty looking as Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners usually are."
"Oh no they look fine, don't they kids? Don't the wieners look fine? Tell your father that they look fine."
"Yes Daddy, we think they look fine and we are not lying."
"Okay, okay again maybe it's my cold. It is possible that my clogged sinuses are impairing my vision as well as my scent. But they have a different sort of look to them. Maybe it's just the lighting but they look a little red to me..."
"Yes maybe they do look red to you and again I think it because your eyes are red from your cold and the light is reflecting off your red eyes and is bouncing back on the wieners and making them look red."
"Perhaps you're right. All right, time to—I'm sorry but, I just cannot put aside all the weirdness that seems to have crept into our evening and just dive right on in and eat these Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners..."
"Yes, yes that's exactly you're going to dive right in and eat those wieners and they will taste great."
"That's right they will taste great, dear wife, because there's nothing that tastes better than Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners."
"You're right honey there is nothing that tastes better than these wieners."
"Okay here I go."
"That's great."
"I'm picking up the Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wiener honey."
"Yes, I can see that you are picking up a wiener Brent."
"And I'm going to put it in my mouth..."
"Again, I can see that..."
"It's getting closer to my mouth..."
"Yes, it is."
"And you're letting it happen."
"I'm...what?"
"You're letting it happen!"
"Um..."
"You are! I can't believe it! You are!"
"I'm what...sweetie?"
"You're going to let me eat this wiener!"
"Well, yes but...why wouldn't I? Brent, it's Tuesday Wiener Night and you love wieners!"
"That's right I do! I love wieners! I love Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners and these...these are not Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners!"
"What do you mean...honey...I—"
"No, don't 'honey 'me! Did you think I wouldn't know? Did you think that I'd not know the difference? Did you think that I would not notice that these are Surefyre Wieners?"
"What? How...that's not possible ...Brent..."
"No, don't lie my darling wife, don't lie. It only belittles us both. Just tell me the truth!"
"Mom...I told you Daddy would notice..."
"Yes, daughter... you were right."
"Ya, Mom...this isn't a lie that Dad's going to be ok with...not like the ones I tell about school. You were messing Dad's wieners! You can't do this!"
"Alright! Alright! That's enough! I confess! I confess! Brent, honey, I'm sorry! I...I...I...yes, these are Surefyre Wieners! There are you happy! I've told the ugly truth! But I...thought maybe since they were so popular that for a change, it would be ok...that maybe you wouldn't mind if for just one week we had a different kind of wiener on Tuesday Wiener Night! Plus, they were on sale and I had a coupon! I'm sorry...I should have asked—"
"Honey, wife...mother of my children...It's...please don't cry. Please...I'm....we'll find a way to work past this, but I have to ask...and please be honest with me; the coupon, was it just for a few cents off a pack of Sure—these competing wieners? Or was the coupon...two for one?"
"Um...the second one...it was two for one..."
"So that means, that means we'll be having Sure—Fyre—wieners again...later this week."
"Yes, I suppose that is what it means. You know me Brent. I don't like to throw anything away, I like to reuse and hang onto things, even when it's clear that they aren't useful anymore. Which reminds me that I wanted to talk to you about the fact that I've been thinking that perhaps it's time we thought about having a more open relationship—?"
"Honey, that's enough. I hear what you're saying. Waste is bad, hanging onto the good in life, even a relationship that has gone a bit stale, like Andre's buns when we don't close the bag properly, is extremely important to maintain a sense of order, but honey...these wieners. My god, what am I going to do?"
"Oh, Brent...I'm so sorry."
"No, don't be sorry honey. It is I who should be sorry. It is I who has to face these demons. It is I who needs to confess something."
"What, honey, what is it?"
"Against my better judgment, against all that I hold dear and honest and true. Against my steadfast belief in staying loyal to what is most meaningful in life, I want—"
"You want to have an open relationship? Because Andre—"
"What? No! I was going to say that I WANT TO TRY THESE WIENERS! There, I said it! May the devil take me and roast me over a spit and eat me with a side of his favorite wieners. I , Brent Holland, family man, devoted husband to a wife whom I need to keep a closer eye on, seller of pens that nobody wants, loyal to the almost the brink of insanity to Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners, I want to try a new kind of wiener! I want to try SUREFYRE WIENERS!"
"Oh honey...it's ok."
"Ya, Dad, I'm all for it."
"Daddy, it's really ok. A lot of people are trying Surefyre Wieners and it's ok. I heard Hal Leisure's daughter at school the other day talking to Chip of Chip's Chips son Chip Jr. and she said that even though a lot of people in Blue Sky have switched to Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners, her Dad, Hal Leisure, isn't worried. Sales are good elsewhere even if they've hit rock bottom in Blue Sky."
"Really? He's not worried? He's accepted that people are eating wieners other than his own brand?"
"Well, he's not happy about it but yes, he's confident that people will come back to Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners because he feels that Surefyre Wieners are just a super delicious fad."
"Wow, he's a...he's a hell of a man that Hal Leisure! So strong and confident with his sky blue leisure suit and his ever present winning smile..."
"Well, Daddy, remember...he's still frowning these days, but Hal Leisure's daughter was telling Chip of Chip's Chips son Chip Jr. that he's still working on getting his smile back. His frown got stuck pretty bad after Sherman Fyre's concert at Mr. Leisure's Annual Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wiener Parade followed by picnic and /or barbeque. She said nothing would turn his frown upside down. She said his frown caused a sea of unrest in the Leisure house and that her absurdly beautiful Blue Sky mother almost left him for Andre of Andre's Bakery, that fine establishment."
"She did what? But Andre said to me—"
"Honey...our daughter is talking of Hal Leisure. This isn't a time to interrupt with your talk of open relationships. Daughter, do you have more news? It sounds to me that you eavesdropped for longer than is really socially acceptable and all this news after you told me that there was no wiener talk at school."
"Well, yes I did say that, but a few minutes ago I really didn't want to get into it, but now...now that you've discovered the truth about dinner, I feel I must tell you about the happenings at school. And yes, you're right...about the eavesdropping. I did that for sure and often do because you can hear a lot when you hide in your locker instead of going to class."
"You were hiding in your locker?"
"Ya, totally! So, after Hal Leisure's daughter talked to Chip Chip's Chip son Chip Jr. Dr. Korn's son came up to her and told her that his Dad is the happiest he's been in years. "
"Why daughter? Why has he been the happiest he's been in years?"
"Well, I didn't catch everything because it was right at that moment that the shelf in my locker broke and my books all came crashing down on my head. But when I came too, I heard Dr. Korn's son say to Hal Leisure's daughter that it was all going to according to plan and then he cackled madly and left."
"Wow, that is mysterious and cryptic news! But news that we'll think on later. Right now, I've got to eat! It's time to step into a new day, a new moment in time and try a brand new wiener! Family: my lying son, my weird locker hiding daughter and my possibly adulterous wife, together let us try these Surefyre Wieners. It's not the end of Tuesday Wiener Night featuring roasted Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners and...oh ok...we're hot having Family Time French Fries either; much like the floss, they are absent from the table...As I was saying this not the end, this is the beginning; the beginning of new Tuesday Wiener Night tradition. I dub this night, Surefyre Tuesday."
And with that last speech, the Holland Family finally started eating the meal prepared for Tuesday Wiener Night. It had long gone cold, that didn't matter to Brent. While he ate, he wept hot tears which made up for the lack of heat in his food. I'm sure, since you've gotten to know Brent Holland a lot more than you probably wanted to, I'm sure you understand how hard this night, this first step into a new wiener tradition was for Brent. His loyalty to Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners was famous throughout Blue Sky.
And so while Brent Holland and his family enjoyed (and when I say enjoyed, I really mean it. This family ate those wieners with more gusto that I've witnessed in years. I think they all needed a change) their meal of roasted Surefyre Wieners, Brent prayed that no one would find out. If the people of Blue Sky found out that he was being disloyal to Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners, there may be no end of pain and suffering for him and his family.
Or is that what it meant? Perhaps changing over from Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners to Surefyre Wieners was the best thing that Brent Holland had ever done for his family.
Perhaps it was the start of even more changes for the Holland household.
But, that's for another chapter...another long chapter...if we even get back to Brent Holland and his family. I'm not 100% sure of where we'll be in a few chapters. We may wrap this thing up sooner than later...sooner if I have my say...but don't you skip ahead and find out. There is plenty of action and excitement to come your way! No, I'm not being sarcastic! Can't you feel the tension building? Can't you sense a climax on the horizon? Can't you—hey! Don't you dare read ahead to find out what happens. That's just cheating! And we've enough cheaters in this book to sink a ship so don't you go ruining the book for yourself my charging ahead! I've told you before and I'll tell you again because I'm just that annoying, that I have power! I have to power to shut this book down and if you don't behave I may do just that to teach you a—
Well here we are...the day you've been waiting for! It's Wiener Wednesday and the day that I post the chapter that will conclude the exciting happening of Tuesday Wiener Night at the Holland Household.
So, I won't waste time with much chatter other than to say that I will be taking a wee break from Wiener Wednesday. I know, I know...sadness...so much sadness...but I have family obligations and Christmas is upon us. I will be back in the new year, probably on January 9th (be sure to mark it on your calendars!) to continue to bring you this ridiculous saga; a saga that I'm not convinced anyone except my daughter is reading.
I wish you all the happiest of Christmas and cheers to fantastic 2013.
Very best,
Cin
***
Chapter Fourteen
Are you back from your break? Are you ready to continue reading about this very exciting Tuesday Wiener Night? Well, I hope so. I wouldn't want to think for even one second that you have drifted off and forgotten about this family and their wiener ways. So before you back out of this chapter, let's continue with the exciting Tuesday Wiener Night in the Holland Household that we were a part of in Chapter Thirteen.
"Hello honey and welcome home. I'm sorry I didn't greet you at the door. I was just so excited preparing the wieners for tonight Tuesday Wiener Night."
"Well, why wouldn't you be excited about preparing Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners for your family. It's the best night a week. "
"Yes preparing wieners on Tuesday; it is the best day for preparing wieners."
"For preparing Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners."
"Yes I had lots of fun preparing those types of wieners in the past."
"You mean you've had fun in the past preparing Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners in the past and you're continuing to have fun now preparing Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners for family. It was fun in the past and it is still fun in the present and there will be fun in the future."
"Yes it was fun preparing Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners in the past and it's really fun preparing wieners now and will continue to be fun in the future."
"Yes exactly preparing—"
"Brent honey why do we just eat the wieners that are quickly getting cold and I'm not sure how these will taste cold."
"What you talking about honey? Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners, although I feel are at their best when they are roasted to perfection, are fine at any temperature. Roasted, cold, had I even eaten them frozen in a pinch. No, nothing destroys the taste of Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners. Alright, enough chit chat; honey please pass me the tray of Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners."
"Here you go."
"Thank-you, my dear wife. Well, now...I don't mean to criticize, but it's funny; these wieners are not quite as meaty looking as Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners usually are."
"Oh no they look fine, don't they kids? Don't the wieners look fine? Tell your father that they look fine."
"Yes Daddy, we think they look fine and we are not lying."
"Okay, okay again maybe it's my cold. It is possible that my clogged sinuses are impairing my vision as well as my scent. But they have a different sort of look to them. Maybe it's just the lighting but they look a little red to me..."
"Yes maybe they do look red to you and again I think it because your eyes are red from your cold and the light is reflecting off your red eyes and is bouncing back on the wieners and making them look red."
"Perhaps you're right. All right, time to—I'm sorry but, I just cannot put aside all the weirdness that seems to have crept into our evening and just dive right on in and eat these Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners..."
"Yes, yes that's exactly you're going to dive right in and eat those wieners and they will taste great."
"That's right they will taste great, dear wife, because there's nothing that tastes better than Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners."
"You're right honey there is nothing that tastes better than these wieners."
"Okay here I go."
"That's great."
"I'm picking up the Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wiener honey."
"Yes, I can see that you are picking up a wiener Brent."
"And I'm going to put it in my mouth..."
"Again, I can see that..."
"It's getting closer to my mouth..."
"Yes, it is."
"And you're letting it happen."
"I'm...what?"
"You're letting it happen!"
"Um..."
"You are! I can't believe it! You are!"
"I'm what...sweetie?"
"You're going to let me eat this wiener!"
"Well, yes but...why wouldn't I? Brent, it's Tuesday Wiener Night and you love wieners!"
"That's right I do! I love wieners! I love Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners and these...these are not Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners!"
"What do you mean...honey...I—"
"No, don't 'honey 'me! Did you think I wouldn't know? Did you think that I'd not know the difference? Did you think that I would not notice that these are Surefyre Wieners?"
"What? How...that's not possible ...Brent..."
"No, don't lie my darling wife, don't lie. It only belittles us both. Just tell me the truth!"
"Mom...I told you Daddy would notice..."
"Yes, daughter... you were right."
"Ya, Mom...this isn't a lie that Dad's going to be ok with...not like the ones I tell about school. You were messing Dad's wieners! You can't do this!"
"Alright! Alright! That's enough! I confess! I confess! Brent, honey, I'm sorry! I...I...I...yes, these are Surefyre Wieners! There are you happy! I've told the ugly truth! But I...thought maybe since they were so popular that for a change, it would be ok...that maybe you wouldn't mind if for just one week we had a different kind of wiener on Tuesday Wiener Night! Plus, they were on sale and I had a coupon! I'm sorry...I should have asked—"
"Honey, wife...mother of my children...It's...please don't cry. Please...I'm....we'll find a way to work past this, but I have to ask...and please be honest with me; the coupon, was it just for a few cents off a pack of Sure—these competing wieners? Or was the coupon...two for one?"
"Um...the second one...it was two for one..."
"So that means, that means we'll be having Sure—Fyre—wieners again...later this week."
"Yes, I suppose that is what it means. You know me Brent. I don't like to throw anything away, I like to reuse and hang onto things, even when it's clear that they aren't useful anymore. Which reminds me that I wanted to talk to you about the fact that I've been thinking that perhaps it's time we thought about having a more open relationship—?"
"Honey, that's enough. I hear what you're saying. Waste is bad, hanging onto the good in life, even a relationship that has gone a bit stale, like Andre's buns when we don't close the bag properly, is extremely important to maintain a sense of order, but honey...these wieners. My god, what am I going to do?"
"Oh, Brent...I'm so sorry."
"No, don't be sorry honey. It is I who should be sorry. It is I who has to face these demons. It is I who needs to confess something."
"What, honey, what is it?"
"Against my better judgment, against all that I hold dear and honest and true. Against my steadfast belief in staying loyal to what is most meaningful in life, I want—"
"You want to have an open relationship? Because Andre—"
"What? No! I was going to say that I WANT TO TRY THESE WIENERS! There, I said it! May the devil take me and roast me over a spit and eat me with a side of his favorite wieners. I , Brent Holland, family man, devoted husband to a wife whom I need to keep a closer eye on, seller of pens that nobody wants, loyal to the almost the brink of insanity to Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners, I want to try a new kind of wiener! I want to try SUREFYRE WIENERS!"
"Oh honey...it's ok."
"Ya, Dad, I'm all for it."
"Daddy, it's really ok. A lot of people are trying Surefyre Wieners and it's ok. I heard Hal Leisure's daughter at school the other day talking to Chip of Chip's Chips son Chip Jr. and she said that even though a lot of people in Blue Sky have switched to Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners, her Dad, Hal Leisure, isn't worried. Sales are good elsewhere even if they've hit rock bottom in Blue Sky."
"Really? He's not worried? He's accepted that people are eating wieners other than his own brand?"
"Well, he's not happy about it but yes, he's confident that people will come back to Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners because he feels that Surefyre Wieners are just a super delicious fad."
"Wow, he's a...he's a hell of a man that Hal Leisure! So strong and confident with his sky blue leisure suit and his ever present winning smile..."
"Well, Daddy, remember...he's still frowning these days, but Hal Leisure's daughter was telling Chip of Chip's Chips son Chip Jr. that he's still working on getting his smile back. His frown got stuck pretty bad after Sherman Fyre's concert at Mr. Leisure's Annual Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wiener Parade followed by picnic and /or barbeque. She said nothing would turn his frown upside down. She said his frown caused a sea of unrest in the Leisure house and that her absurdly beautiful Blue Sky mother almost left him for Andre of Andre's Bakery, that fine establishment."
"She did what? But Andre said to me—"
"Honey...our daughter is talking of Hal Leisure. This isn't a time to interrupt with your talk of open relationships. Daughter, do you have more news? It sounds to me that you eavesdropped for longer than is really socially acceptable and all this news after you told me that there was no wiener talk at school."
"Well, yes I did say that, but a few minutes ago I really didn't want to get into it, but now...now that you've discovered the truth about dinner, I feel I must tell you about the happenings at school. And yes, you're right...about the eavesdropping. I did that for sure and often do because you can hear a lot when you hide in your locker instead of going to class."
"You were hiding in your locker?"
"Ya, totally! So, after Hal Leisure's daughter talked to Chip Chip's Chip son Chip Jr. Dr. Korn's son came up to her and told her that his Dad is the happiest he's been in years. "
"Why daughter? Why has he been the happiest he's been in years?"
"Well, I didn't catch everything because it was right at that moment that the shelf in my locker broke and my books all came crashing down on my head. But when I came too, I heard Dr. Korn's son say to Hal Leisure's daughter that it was all going to according to plan and then he cackled madly and left."
"Wow, that is mysterious and cryptic news! But news that we'll think on later. Right now, I've got to eat! It's time to step into a new day, a new moment in time and try a brand new wiener! Family: my lying son, my weird locker hiding daughter and my possibly adulterous wife, together let us try these Surefyre Wieners. It's not the end of Tuesday Wiener Night featuring roasted Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners and...oh ok...we're hot having Family Time French Fries either; much like the floss, they are absent from the table...As I was saying this not the end, this is the beginning; the beginning of new Tuesday Wiener Night tradition. I dub this night, Surefyre Tuesday."
And with that last speech, the Holland Family finally started eating the meal prepared for Tuesday Wiener Night. It had long gone cold, that didn't matter to Brent. While he ate, he wept hot tears which made up for the lack of heat in his food. I'm sure, since you've gotten to know Brent Holland a lot more than you probably wanted to, I'm sure you understand how hard this night, this first step into a new wiener tradition was for Brent. His loyalty to Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners was famous throughout Blue Sky.
And so while Brent Holland and his family enjoyed (and when I say enjoyed, I really mean it. This family ate those wieners with more gusto that I've witnessed in years. I think they all needed a change) their meal of roasted Surefyre Wieners, Brent prayed that no one would find out. If the people of Blue Sky found out that he was being disloyal to Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners, there may be no end of pain and suffering for him and his family.
Or is that what it meant? Perhaps changing over from Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners to Surefyre Wieners was the best thing that Brent Holland had ever done for his family.
Perhaps it was the start of even more changes for the Holland household.
But, that's for another chapter...another long chapter...if we even get back to Brent Holland and his family. I'm not 100% sure of where we'll be in a few chapters. We may wrap this thing up sooner than later...sooner if I have my say...but don't you skip ahead and find out. There is plenty of action and excitement to come your way! No, I'm not being sarcastic! Can't you feel the tension building? Can't you sense a climax on the horizon? Can't you—hey! Don't you dare read ahead to find out what happens. That's just cheating! And we've enough cheaters in this book to sink a ship so don't you go ruining the book for yourself my charging ahead! I've told you before and I'll tell you again because I'm just that annoying, that I have power! I have to power to shut this book down and if you don't behave I may do just that to teach you a—
Wednesday, December 12, 2012
Nano 2012: Top Dog Chapter Thirteen
Well, hello Blog Fans
And welcome to another Wiener Wednesday! I know you've all been waiting for this day, so I won't ramble long.
I know too that you're probably wondering how Brent Holland and his family are doing with the fact that the town of Blue Sky turning their back on Meathy Teeth's Leisure Wieners and if you have been wondering, you'll be happy to know that this week and next week I'm posting chapters filled with Holland Family Nonsense!
You enjoy these ramblings. I'm going to go do the dishes.
Very best,
Cin
PS: please be warned that usually I have another set of eyes read over my chapters but as no one else is home and I really want to post this, you'll just have to deal with my super errors.
While Hal Leisure tried to reinstate his face from frown smile everybody else in town was whipped into a Surefyre frenzy. For the next few weeks Blue Sky was blanketed in Fyre, Surefyre that is; Surefyre Wieners is more to the point. It seems that the people of Blue Sky couldn't get enough of them. What's most interesting about this whole situation is that it's not as if Surefyre Wieners were never sold in stores in Blue Sky before now and wasn't as if nobody Blue Sky ever tried Surefyre Wieners before; the situation before this Surefyre Frenzy was that the majority of people in town were loyal to Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners and never gave Surefyre Wieners a second glance.
Now it was the opposite. The folks in Blue Sky now ignored Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners and the free floss that came with every pack. While I'm sure the Surefyre Wieners got stuck in their teeth too, they didn't seem to care. In grocery stores all over Blue Sky Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners and the floss started to crowd their storerooms. Rumor has it that after a couple weeks of dismal sales, the Blue Sky grocery stores stopped placing their regular orders for Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners. The store managers knew that right now, with everybody being so crazy for Surefyre Wieners and Sherman Fyre himself walking the streets daily, greeting everybody in Blue Sky with is infections energy and slightly unnerving smile, the grocery store managers knew that Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners were no longer popular. Even the sales of Family Time French Fries dropped drastically once the people Blue Sky started buying Surefyre Wieners. It was as though they forgot that you could eat Family Time French with foodstuffs that were not Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners. Yes, it was a dark time and not just for Hal Leisure but for Blue Sky. The Blue Sky folk just didn't know it yet.
However, I would like to point out that not everybody in Blue Sky stopped being loyal to Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners. There is at least one man in town who in spite of all of the new attention now being heaped upon Surefyre Wieners, stayed true to the brand of wiener that he loved the most.
Let us go across town and pay another visit to Brent Holland and his family. It's Tuesday night which if you recall, and I'm really hoping you do, that Tuesday night in the Holland household is Tuesday Wiener night. Brent Holland has just sat down at his table with his daughter and his son and they are waiting for his wife, to bring out the silver tray heaped high with roasted Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners for Tuesday Wiener Night. She is of course also preparing Family Time French Fries for everyone as well. They are such a hit with the Holland Household that they have become a part of not just Tuesday Wiener Night, but they are now a part of any family event or special occasion that the Holland's may celebrate on Saturdays as well.
I'm going to turn the table over to Brent Holland now. It appears he's had a bit of a bad day, and he looks a little rough so, let's see what is happening in his world.
"Well family, son and daughter, it sure is nice to come home after a hard day of not selling pens and find my family waiting for me at the table and being just as excited as I am that it is Tuesday. Tuesday Wiener night taken on a whole new meaning right kids? Tuesday Wiener night now means loyalty and not just enjoyment of Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners Wiener's. I know you've probably heard a lot of the kids at school talking about how much their families enjoy Surefyre Wieners; kids who belong to families who used to be loyal to Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners as we still are. I just, I just wanted to ask how you, son and daughter, were handling this new situation?"
"What new situation would that be exactly Dad?"
"The whole new situation being that we are one of the only families in town that have stayed loyal to Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners. The new situation being that you hang around with kids who belong to families who used to be loyal to Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners, but are now happily riding on the Surefyre Wiener bandwagon. "
"Gee, Daddy, I don't really know how to put this but we don't really talk about wieners at school..."
"Pardon me, daughter?"
"I'm sorry Daddy, but what kind of wiener's other families preferred to eat at home never really comes up. No it's... It's just what we talk about other things like boys and music we like... you know, girl stuff Daddy."
"Really?
"Yes really. I hope that doesn't upset you didn't think this is a case where I needed to lie to make you feel better... You know the way I lie about and how much I really enjoy Tuesday Wiener night?"
"No no; I understand completely. I understand the wieners would not than necessarily be a topic of conversation amongst young girls. That's okay. I'm glad that you didn't lie to me because there is no need. But thank you for continuing to lie to me about enjoying Tuesday Wiener night. After all the on goings with the town no longer being loyal to its finest homegrown product, I'm not sure I could take it. Keep up the lie. Now son... How about you? Are you having any issues at school when it comes to your friend's families now preferring Surefyre Wieners over Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners? Has it come to fisticuffs in the playground?"
"Yes – yes, I think I'm having issues."
"Well you are sporting a rather large black eye right now so I was just wondering exactly what the reason for that is and my first guess would be that it is about wieners and loyalty and all things that I hold dear."
"Yeah it was it was totally about wieners. I heard some kids in the back of playground talking about how they now eat Surefyre Wieners instead of Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners and I went up to them and said 'Hey that's really, really bad because my Dad, he loves Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners and on Tuesday nights we enjoy Tuesday Wiener Night and I think it's not cool the everybody now thinks that Surefyre Wieners are better.'"
"So you went up and confronted them then they punched you?"
"Yes that's exactly what happened."
"Really, son?"
"Yep I wouldn't lie about something like that that! No, I wouldn't lie about wieners. My getting punched had nothing to do with the boys planning on telling the principal that I was the one responsible for filling her desk with snakes and worms and dirt and whatever else I could find in the parking lot out back and then gluing her desk shut for the second time. That's not what they were talking about. They were talking about wieners and when I heard them talking about the wieners, and not the principal, I got mad and I threatened them and before I got a chance to get them to change their minds about their wieners they punched me."
"Well son, that is quite a heroic tale."
"I thought so… I thought it was best to speak the truth..."
"So it really was but the wieners and not about principal's desk again"
"No Dad just like last time I never glued the principal's desk shut. This was all about wieners."
"Well that is – it's hard you know son when you have to stand up for your principles I'm proud to you. Thank-you."
"Daddy..."
"Yes daughter"
"I think you're letting him get away with stuff at school again, I don't think he's telling the truth."
"That's where you're wrong daughter. Your brother is telling the truth; the truth about loyalty and truth about wieners. Whatever else happens on Tuesdays doesn't matter to me daughter. If your brother was to set the school on fire and stand there basking in its fiery glow and cackling at his mischief, if he did that on Tuesday and did it with Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners in his hands and he roasted those Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners over the fire and he brought them home for dinner, well I would just be so proud because he was loyal to Tuesday Wiener night."
"Yeah but he would've set the school on fire..."
"Tuesday Wiener night daughter and Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners they go hand-in-hand and that is the way it is in my house— I'm sorry our house. Look I don't mean to be up in your grill or whatever you young people say but, I've just had a rough few weeks and the only thing that gets me through is knowing that on Tuesday nights my wife will present to me on a silver platter under a silver lid Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners with a side of Family Time French Fries. Do you understand me?"
"Yes Daddy... I think I do... Are you crying?"
"Crying? No, I'm not crying. I'm just passionate about wieners."
"Oh, okay...you just to sound really stuffy."
"No daughter I just have cold which is also adding to my pain today because I can't smell the roasted Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners very well. Actually the Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners almost smell different than they normally do. Yes, my cold must be messing with my sense of smell, because they actually smell spicier than usual and why am I not seeing floss on the table?"
Well...I think we're on the brink of something unnerving and I'm in need of a breather, aren't you? Join me in the next Chapter, Chapter Fourteen when we will find together why there is no floss on the dining room table at the Holland Household on Tuesday Wiener Night!
And welcome to another Wiener Wednesday! I know you've all been waiting for this day, so I won't ramble long.
I know too that you're probably wondering how Brent Holland and his family are doing with the fact that the town of Blue Sky turning their back on Meathy Teeth's Leisure Wieners and if you have been wondering, you'll be happy to know that this week and next week I'm posting chapters filled with Holland Family Nonsense!
You enjoy these ramblings. I'm going to go do the dishes.
Very best,
Cin
PS: please be warned that usually I have another set of eyes read over my chapters but as no one else is home and I really want to post this, you'll just have to deal with my super errors.
***
Chapter Thirteen
While Hal Leisure tried to reinstate his face from frown smile everybody else in town was whipped into a Surefyre frenzy. For the next few weeks Blue Sky was blanketed in Fyre, Surefyre that is; Surefyre Wieners is more to the point. It seems that the people of Blue Sky couldn't get enough of them. What's most interesting about this whole situation is that it's not as if Surefyre Wieners were never sold in stores in Blue Sky before now and wasn't as if nobody Blue Sky ever tried Surefyre Wieners before; the situation before this Surefyre Frenzy was that the majority of people in town were loyal to Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners and never gave Surefyre Wieners a second glance.
Now it was the opposite. The folks in Blue Sky now ignored Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners and the free floss that came with every pack. While I'm sure the Surefyre Wieners got stuck in their teeth too, they didn't seem to care. In grocery stores all over Blue Sky Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners and the floss started to crowd their storerooms. Rumor has it that after a couple weeks of dismal sales, the Blue Sky grocery stores stopped placing their regular orders for Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners. The store managers knew that right now, with everybody being so crazy for Surefyre Wieners and Sherman Fyre himself walking the streets daily, greeting everybody in Blue Sky with is infections energy and slightly unnerving smile, the grocery store managers knew that Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners were no longer popular. Even the sales of Family Time French Fries dropped drastically once the people Blue Sky started buying Surefyre Wieners. It was as though they forgot that you could eat Family Time French with foodstuffs that were not Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners. Yes, it was a dark time and not just for Hal Leisure but for Blue Sky. The Blue Sky folk just didn't know it yet.
However, I would like to point out that not everybody in Blue Sky stopped being loyal to Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners. There is at least one man in town who in spite of all of the new attention now being heaped upon Surefyre Wieners, stayed true to the brand of wiener that he loved the most.
Let us go across town and pay another visit to Brent Holland and his family. It's Tuesday night which if you recall, and I'm really hoping you do, that Tuesday night in the Holland household is Tuesday Wiener night. Brent Holland has just sat down at his table with his daughter and his son and they are waiting for his wife, to bring out the silver tray heaped high with roasted Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners for Tuesday Wiener Night. She is of course also preparing Family Time French Fries for everyone as well. They are such a hit with the Holland Household that they have become a part of not just Tuesday Wiener Night, but they are now a part of any family event or special occasion that the Holland's may celebrate on Saturdays as well.
I'm going to turn the table over to Brent Holland now. It appears he's had a bit of a bad day, and he looks a little rough so, let's see what is happening in his world.
"Well family, son and daughter, it sure is nice to come home after a hard day of not selling pens and find my family waiting for me at the table and being just as excited as I am that it is Tuesday. Tuesday Wiener night taken on a whole new meaning right kids? Tuesday Wiener night now means loyalty and not just enjoyment of Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners Wiener's. I know you've probably heard a lot of the kids at school talking about how much their families enjoy Surefyre Wieners; kids who belong to families who used to be loyal to Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners as we still are. I just, I just wanted to ask how you, son and daughter, were handling this new situation?"
"What new situation would that be exactly Dad?"
"The whole new situation being that we are one of the only families in town that have stayed loyal to Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners. The new situation being that you hang around with kids who belong to families who used to be loyal to Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners, but are now happily riding on the Surefyre Wiener bandwagon. "
"Gee, Daddy, I don't really know how to put this but we don't really talk about wieners at school..."
"Pardon me, daughter?"
"I'm sorry Daddy, but what kind of wiener's other families preferred to eat at home never really comes up. No it's... It's just what we talk about other things like boys and music we like... you know, girl stuff Daddy."
"Really?
"Yes really. I hope that doesn't upset you didn't think this is a case where I needed to lie to make you feel better... You know the way I lie about and how much I really enjoy Tuesday Wiener night?"
"No no; I understand completely. I understand the wieners would not than necessarily be a topic of conversation amongst young girls. That's okay. I'm glad that you didn't lie to me because there is no need. But thank you for continuing to lie to me about enjoying Tuesday Wiener night. After all the on goings with the town no longer being loyal to its finest homegrown product, I'm not sure I could take it. Keep up the lie. Now son... How about you? Are you having any issues at school when it comes to your friend's families now preferring Surefyre Wieners over Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners? Has it come to fisticuffs in the playground?"
"Yes – yes, I think I'm having issues."
"Well you are sporting a rather large black eye right now so I was just wondering exactly what the reason for that is and my first guess would be that it is about wieners and loyalty and all things that I hold dear."
"Yeah it was it was totally about wieners. I heard some kids in the back of playground talking about how they now eat Surefyre Wieners instead of Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners and I went up to them and said 'Hey that's really, really bad because my Dad, he loves Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners and on Tuesday nights we enjoy Tuesday Wiener Night and I think it's not cool the everybody now thinks that Surefyre Wieners are better.'"
"So you went up and confronted them then they punched you?"
"Yes that's exactly what happened."
"Really, son?"
"Yep I wouldn't lie about something like that that! No, I wouldn't lie about wieners. My getting punched had nothing to do with the boys planning on telling the principal that I was the one responsible for filling her desk with snakes and worms and dirt and whatever else I could find in the parking lot out back and then gluing her desk shut for the second time. That's not what they were talking about. They were talking about wieners and when I heard them talking about the wieners, and not the principal, I got mad and I threatened them and before I got a chance to get them to change their minds about their wieners they punched me."
"Well son, that is quite a heroic tale."
"I thought so… I thought it was best to speak the truth..."
"So it really was but the wieners and not about principal's desk again"
"No Dad just like last time I never glued the principal's desk shut. This was all about wieners."
"Well that is – it's hard you know son when you have to stand up for your principles I'm proud to you. Thank-you."
"Daddy..."
"Yes daughter"
"I think you're letting him get away with stuff at school again, I don't think he's telling the truth."
"That's where you're wrong daughter. Your brother is telling the truth; the truth about loyalty and truth about wieners. Whatever else happens on Tuesdays doesn't matter to me daughter. If your brother was to set the school on fire and stand there basking in its fiery glow and cackling at his mischief, if he did that on Tuesday and did it with Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners in his hands and he roasted those Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners over the fire and he brought them home for dinner, well I would just be so proud because he was loyal to Tuesday Wiener night."
"Yeah but he would've set the school on fire..."
"Tuesday Wiener night daughter and Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners they go hand-in-hand and that is the way it is in my house— I'm sorry our house. Look I don't mean to be up in your grill or whatever you young people say but, I've just had a rough few weeks and the only thing that gets me through is knowing that on Tuesday nights my wife will present to me on a silver platter under a silver lid Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners with a side of Family Time French Fries. Do you understand me?"
"Yes Daddy... I think I do... Are you crying?"
"Crying? No, I'm not crying. I'm just passionate about wieners."
"Oh, okay...you just to sound really stuffy."
"No daughter I just have cold which is also adding to my pain today because I can't smell the roasted Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners very well. Actually the Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners almost smell different than they normally do. Yes, my cold must be messing with my sense of smell, because they actually smell spicier than usual and why am I not seeing floss on the table?"
Well...I think we're on the brink of something unnerving and I'm in need of a breather, aren't you? Join me in the next Chapter, Chapter Fourteen when we will find together why there is no floss on the dining room table at the Holland Household on Tuesday Wiener Night!
Wednesday, December 5, 2012
Nano 2012: Top Dog, Chapter Twelve
Hello Blog Fans
Wiener Wednesday is here...ok it's almost over, but just under the wire, I have the next Chapter of Top Dog for your scrutiny!
And now, I've off to bed!
Enjoy,
Cin
Only it wasn't good night or a farewell. Sherman Fyre, as it turned out, had a lot more to say and sing about. You see after – what? Reader, why are you interrupting? Okay, so I took a little longer to come back to this story than I had intended. But there was a cute blonde hanging around the edge of the park who looked lonely and it looked like she needed someone to talk to. What? How could she see me? Well...I don't —I told you I have powers! If I want to interact with people in a story that may or may not have already happened, I can! So there!
However, I must confess. I'm a little concerned as she looked a lot like Hal Leisure's absurdly beautiful Blue Sky wife, but it was dark so I couldn't really see her very well...and we only talked. Yes, I was a true gentleman so I suppose it doesn't matter who the lovely creature staying out of the direct light was.
Oh don't you give me attitude. You are getting a little too comfortable with me and my narration and it's bringing out your saucy side! Look, I forgot that I was supposed to come back at some point in chapter ten ok? And no, I wasn't there for the start of chapter eleven either, but I'm here now, and I'll be a big part of Chapter Twelve. It'll be alright.
So, let's get a move on. I'm here now to give you the lowdown on the aftermath that occurred once Sherman Fyre and his All Fyred Up Crew finished up their "Surefyre Wieners" song. Yes, let me tell you it was mayhem. The crowd absolutely went crazy for Sherman Fyre and Hal Leisure, no matter how many pleas he called to the crowd, to the Blue Sky folk, from his position on his stage Hal could not get the crowd back. They had forgotten all about him because not only did Sherman Fyre woo the crowd with his very catchy and, I have to admit, far superior company song (I know Hal said that his song was supposed to be about Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners but he was yammering on more about himself and his past that nobody really seems to care about. Or do they?) but for many hours after his fantastic entrance, Sherman Fyre entertained the crowd with various songs of a rocklike nature. And you know, for a man who was a bit round around the middle I have to say he is extremely agile and nimble on his feet. The crowd ate it up every second that he was on stage and they loved him. Moreover, not only did they love him they loved his wieners. People, who for years had shunned Surefyre Wieners and had only ever tried Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners, jumped at the chance to try the Surefyre Wieners. Sherman's cronies were throwing those hot wieners out to the crowd by the dozens from his portable stage/float and the people there, the once loyal to Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners Blue Sky crowd; they were using the barbecues that Hal Leisure had provided for the Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners to cook their freshly caught Surefyre Wieners on. You know, I sincerely believe that every time somebody threw a Surefyre Wiener on one of Hal's barbecues, a little piece of Hal Leisure's soul died.
Frankly watching Hal try to win the crowd back, even after they started cooking and eating Surefyre Wieners at the Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners picnic and/or barbeque was little hard to swallow. In his final attempt to win back the Blue Sky crown back to his side Hal tried reminding the crowd that some of the bands had yet to sing their wiener songs and then letting them know that he could not give out the Giant Golden Wiener Prize for best Wiener or French fry song without the crowd hearing all of the songs. However, nobody was listening and nobody cared; they just continued to scream along with Sherman Fyre and cook his Surefyre Wieners on Hal's barbeques.
The worst part of that whole picnic and/or barbeque was that while Hal stood there and watched his once beloved and loyal Blue Sky crowd turn their attention on Sherman Fyre, as he watched everything he'd worked for slip away after 15 years of not even knowing that this robust showman in his fairly fine red suit even existed, Hal's face slowly slipped into a frown. I truly believe that as Hal Leisure's Meaty Members witnessed Hal's never changing sunny expression turn into something dark and heinous, a bit of each of their souls died.
About halfway through Sherman Fyre's concert he took it down a few notches. While Sherman sat on the edge of this float/ portable stage and talked to the crowd and a member of his All Fyred up crew played classical guitar in the background, he told the Blue Sky folk this tale:
"Folks of Blue Sky, I'd like to tell you a little tale. It's a tale about a man who had a dream about wieners. When I was growing up wieners were my favorite food. I couldn't get enough of them. However, at the same time, I always felt that there was something missing from the wieners. I felt, I felt that they could be something more than just a tube to put on a bun and cover in ketchup. I wanted them to be so much more. I felt that people should not have to put ketchup on the wieners. I wanted to invent, to create the kind of wiener people would eat without the aid of condiments. I wanted to create a wiener people would crave.
After I graduated from high school I went to college which kept me busy, but I never forgot about wieners and my dream of better wieners. While I was at college I did some crazy things! I experimented with all kinds of foods, I talked to people I ignored in high school and went to independent films. You know the kinds of films they show in tiny theaters with not terribly strict hygiene code… Ya, that's right! I did all the crazy things you do at college when you want to feel different and novel and fit in!
Now, one night after I went to a club and digested a belly full of acid jazz, I went out for some Filipino food. I was in the mood for some pork. I ordered a pork dish. The pork was golden fried and it was coated in a spicy blend of flavors. Now I don't know whether what's the mood and lighting or the belly full of acid jazz… but that night I came up with something extraordinary. That was the night that I decided the how and the what that would become my famous wiener creation. It was that night that I came up with the plan to add spice to wieners. It was, if I may, a Surefyre idea. And before I had even left that little Filipino restaurant, I knew they would be a hit, a Surefyre winner and therefore in an instant, Sherman Fyre's spicy wiener plan became Surefyre Wieners. I paid for my delicious and inspiring Filipino pork dish and I left that place knowing that I was about to embark on a path of wiener glory known only to a few men.
A few men like Hal Leisure. Now I know most of you Blue Sky folk are loyal to Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners and a lot of you Blue Sky Folk, I'm guessing, don't like change. But come on Blue Sky, every once in a while you step up and try something new and keep that new thing in your life for a long time, not just for one day. I'm not here to ruin Hal's business no-no! I'm here to give him some healthy competition. I'm here give you, the people of Blue Sky, a choice! Now when you go shopping you can either buy Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners with its free pack of loss or you can buy Surefyre Wieners that comes with nothing but the feeling of being awesome. Surefyre wieners will make you feel powerful, they'll make you feel stronger and they'll make you feel like you can do anything that requires strength and power and the feeling of being awesome! That's right Blue Sky; it's time to discover your inner awesome.
I know that Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners promote a family-friendly lifestyle. I know they make you feel safe. I know why in Blue Sky they are the number one selling wiener. They make you feel comfortable. They make you feel like you're dining with a friend or your family. Well Blue Sky, how about dining with a stranger! That's right take a walk on the wild side and dine with a stranger that is on Fyre! Yes Surefyre wieners may be a little warm in your mouth and they may even make you feel a little dangerous, but I think that is what this town needs! I can see it in your eyes people, the excitement, and the wonder! You can't lie to me. Through your aura I can see right into your soul: you need some shaking up, you need some Fyre in your life! You need to spice things up like you've never spiced things up before! You need Surefyre winners! Now enough yacking; let's get back to rocking!"
And with that, well if Sherman Fyre didn't already have the folks of Blue Sky eating out of the palm of his hand, they were now! Quite literally actually. Everyone soon lined up enjoyed a Surefyre Wiener right from the palm of his hand. It was sort of disturbing actually and a sort of cult like atmosphere settled in at the picnic and/or barbecue. Everyone was caught up in the new, in the exciting, and in the Fyre.
Well, everyone except Hal Leisure and his Meaty Members. While Sherman Fyre was wooing the crowd with his next round of vocal acrobatics and wiener eating, nobody noticed Hal Leisure and his Meaty Members pack up their instruments, haul away the speakers and take down the stage.
Nobody even noticed the sound of Hal frowning above the sound of rocking out. Hal was feeling so desperate for even a little affirmation, for a little hint that he may still be an ok guy that while his Meaty Members were taking down the stage, Hal tried calling his family on his cell phone. He caught glimpses of them at the Annual Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners parade followed by picnic and/or barbecue, but they never approached the stage to join in his song as he'd hoped they would. Rumor had reached his ears that at some point during the picnic and/or barbeque that his absurdly beautiful Blue Sky wife suddenly had left the kids at the picnic and/or barbeque to run off with someone. Hal never quite caught who she was rumored to have run off with but I truly believe that she may have been off somewhere, helping Andre put those ridiculous stickers on the bun bags… If you know what I mean… Or maybe you don't. Maybe you're of the age where you really don't catch innuendo which may be for the best.
However, no one at home answered and so Hal lingered in the space where the stage had been for a while, after his Meaty Members had gone home, hoping his family would come and find him. When it was clear they would not be joining him in his frown and disappointment, Hal picked up his guitar case. Before heading to his car, he watched the mayhem that was Sherman Fyre and the All Fyred up crew easily working over the Blue Sky Folks like... people are easily worked over. I apologize that could be beer clouding my brain. I'm having trouble coming up with metaphors to fit this dark moment, or I suppose that would be a simile since I use the word "like". The point is that Hal stayed there longer than he really wanted to. He watched his Blue Sky folks, his loyal Blue Sky customers become something he never expected; fans of another kind of wiener. Mostly, he never expected it because until recently Hal didn't even know he had competition. It's amazing how moving to Blue Sky put Hal Leisure's head firmly in the clouds.
After about an hour of waiting for his family to show up... and the whole time he was waiting he knew in his heart that they actually wouldn't show up... Hal slowly headed to his car to go home. On the way to his car, Hal ran into his dentist.
"Hey there Hal, Hal are you doing? You seem to be walking to your car, at your Leisure."
"Oh, Dr. Korn...I didn't see you there...lurking behind my car, but ah...yes, good one! Hal are you, instead of How are you. I get it. Very clever."
"And the leisure part? Was that good too?"
"The...oh yes, walking at my Leisure. Excellent. Wow...you are quite funny Dr. Korn.
"Well, yes, I am a riot, but lately...I've had a lot of time to work on my jokes."
"Sorry?"
"To work on my jokes...you know...when I'm not golfing...I work on my jokes...during my free time."
"OH, that's nice Dr. Korn. To have free time I mean."
"Yes...but Hal...I haven't seen you in the office for a while? You must be due for a checkup?"
"You may be right Dr. Korn, I think my teeth are fine, I floss every day...sometimes twice a day...and I also use a really good tooth—Dr. Korn. I'm sorry Dr. Korn, but I just don't....I don't really want to talk about my teeth right now. I'd really like to go home. I've had a rather...unexpected event interrupt and well basically ruin my parade and picnic and/or barbeque. This day, the day of the Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wiener parade is usually the highlight of my year, next to Wiener Treat Days at the office, but...I just...I need go home and have a huge think on how I'm not going to let this get me down. This frown that you see on my face now? Well, as soon as I can find some rays of hope in the cloudy day, it's coming off. It's hurting me, Dr. Korn. This frown is hurting me."
"Hmmm...you know that is too bad Hal. I sure hate to see a frown take the place of that ridiculous smile that you normally have plastered on that pasty mug of yours, but life isn't always up, Hal. No matter how much you don't want clouds to cover your Blue Sky, you can't always predict what's coming. Or in your case, have the faintest clue what was coming. I hear you hadn't even heard of Sherman Fyre until recently. Anyway, you should always keep a frown in your back pocket Hal because you just never know when something like...a competing wiener company is going to set up shop in your town, set up out of the clear blue sky, and extremely quickly because the new company has a way of bypassing permit laws so don't even try to find a loop hole and try to shut him down; yes, Sherman Fyre has set up shop in your town, almost like he was asked to come here and deliberately try to take your business away. You never know when that's going to happen to you Hal! So keep that frown around for things like that and for when you find out other things...such as why is your absurdly beautiful Blue Sky wife not giving you the attention she used to or for when you start to question whether or not those really are your kids! Just keep that frown handy Hal because the good times, they aren't always going to be around!"
"Wow...thank-you...Dr. Korn, but if you know me...and really I don't think you do, but you seem to know about a lot about my life that apparently I'm blind to...I'm not one for staying down. No sir...I'll find a way to wipe this frown off my face! Before you know it, I'll have my ridiculous smile plastered, once again on my pasty mug!"
"We'll see about that."
"Yes, we...what? What did you say?"
But when Hal looked up from his shoes, Dr. Korn was gone and all that was left was the smell of bubble gum scented fluoride...
Wiener Wednesday is here...ok it's almost over, but just under the wire, I have the next Chapter of Top Dog for your scrutiny!
And now, I've off to bed!
Enjoy,
Cin
***
Chapter Twelve
Only it wasn't good night or a farewell. Sherman Fyre, as it turned out, had a lot more to say and sing about. You see after – what? Reader, why are you interrupting? Okay, so I took a little longer to come back to this story than I had intended. But there was a cute blonde hanging around the edge of the park who looked lonely and it looked like she needed someone to talk to. What? How could she see me? Well...I don't —I told you I have powers! If I want to interact with people in a story that may or may not have already happened, I can! So there!
However, I must confess. I'm a little concerned as she looked a lot like Hal Leisure's absurdly beautiful Blue Sky wife, but it was dark so I couldn't really see her very well...and we only talked. Yes, I was a true gentleman so I suppose it doesn't matter who the lovely creature staying out of the direct light was.
Oh don't you give me attitude. You are getting a little too comfortable with me and my narration and it's bringing out your saucy side! Look, I forgot that I was supposed to come back at some point in chapter ten ok? And no, I wasn't there for the start of chapter eleven either, but I'm here now, and I'll be a big part of Chapter Twelve. It'll be alright.
So, let's get a move on. I'm here now to give you the lowdown on the aftermath that occurred once Sherman Fyre and his All Fyred Up Crew finished up their "Surefyre Wieners" song. Yes, let me tell you it was mayhem. The crowd absolutely went crazy for Sherman Fyre and Hal Leisure, no matter how many pleas he called to the crowd, to the Blue Sky folk, from his position on his stage Hal could not get the crowd back. They had forgotten all about him because not only did Sherman Fyre woo the crowd with his very catchy and, I have to admit, far superior company song (I know Hal said that his song was supposed to be about Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners but he was yammering on more about himself and his past that nobody really seems to care about. Or do they?) but for many hours after his fantastic entrance, Sherman Fyre entertained the crowd with various songs of a rocklike nature. And you know, for a man who was a bit round around the middle I have to say he is extremely agile and nimble on his feet. The crowd ate it up every second that he was on stage and they loved him. Moreover, not only did they love him they loved his wieners. People, who for years had shunned Surefyre Wieners and had only ever tried Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners, jumped at the chance to try the Surefyre Wieners. Sherman's cronies were throwing those hot wieners out to the crowd by the dozens from his portable stage/float and the people there, the once loyal to Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners Blue Sky crowd; they were using the barbecues that Hal Leisure had provided for the Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners to cook their freshly caught Surefyre Wieners on. You know, I sincerely believe that every time somebody threw a Surefyre Wiener on one of Hal's barbecues, a little piece of Hal Leisure's soul died.
Frankly watching Hal try to win the crowd back, even after they started cooking and eating Surefyre Wieners at the Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners picnic and/or barbeque was little hard to swallow. In his final attempt to win back the Blue Sky crown back to his side Hal tried reminding the crowd that some of the bands had yet to sing their wiener songs and then letting them know that he could not give out the Giant Golden Wiener Prize for best Wiener or French fry song without the crowd hearing all of the songs. However, nobody was listening and nobody cared; they just continued to scream along with Sherman Fyre and cook his Surefyre Wieners on Hal's barbeques.
The worst part of that whole picnic and/or barbeque was that while Hal stood there and watched his once beloved and loyal Blue Sky crowd turn their attention on Sherman Fyre, as he watched everything he'd worked for slip away after 15 years of not even knowing that this robust showman in his fairly fine red suit even existed, Hal's face slowly slipped into a frown. I truly believe that as Hal Leisure's Meaty Members witnessed Hal's never changing sunny expression turn into something dark and heinous, a bit of each of their souls died.
About halfway through Sherman Fyre's concert he took it down a few notches. While Sherman sat on the edge of this float/ portable stage and talked to the crowd and a member of his All Fyred up crew played classical guitar in the background, he told the Blue Sky folk this tale:
"Folks of Blue Sky, I'd like to tell you a little tale. It's a tale about a man who had a dream about wieners. When I was growing up wieners were my favorite food. I couldn't get enough of them. However, at the same time, I always felt that there was something missing from the wieners. I felt, I felt that they could be something more than just a tube to put on a bun and cover in ketchup. I wanted them to be so much more. I felt that people should not have to put ketchup on the wieners. I wanted to invent, to create the kind of wiener people would eat without the aid of condiments. I wanted to create a wiener people would crave.
After I graduated from high school I went to college which kept me busy, but I never forgot about wieners and my dream of better wieners. While I was at college I did some crazy things! I experimented with all kinds of foods, I talked to people I ignored in high school and went to independent films. You know the kinds of films they show in tiny theaters with not terribly strict hygiene code… Ya, that's right! I did all the crazy things you do at college when you want to feel different and novel and fit in!
Now, one night after I went to a club and digested a belly full of acid jazz, I went out for some Filipino food. I was in the mood for some pork. I ordered a pork dish. The pork was golden fried and it was coated in a spicy blend of flavors. Now I don't know whether what's the mood and lighting or the belly full of acid jazz… but that night I came up with something extraordinary. That was the night that I decided the how and the what that would become my famous wiener creation. It was that night that I came up with the plan to add spice to wieners. It was, if I may, a Surefyre idea. And before I had even left that little Filipino restaurant, I knew they would be a hit, a Surefyre winner and therefore in an instant, Sherman Fyre's spicy wiener plan became Surefyre Wieners. I paid for my delicious and inspiring Filipino pork dish and I left that place knowing that I was about to embark on a path of wiener glory known only to a few men.
A few men like Hal Leisure. Now I know most of you Blue Sky folk are loyal to Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners and a lot of you Blue Sky Folk, I'm guessing, don't like change. But come on Blue Sky, every once in a while you step up and try something new and keep that new thing in your life for a long time, not just for one day. I'm not here to ruin Hal's business no-no! I'm here to give him some healthy competition. I'm here give you, the people of Blue Sky, a choice! Now when you go shopping you can either buy Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners with its free pack of loss or you can buy Surefyre Wieners that comes with nothing but the feeling of being awesome. Surefyre wieners will make you feel powerful, they'll make you feel stronger and they'll make you feel like you can do anything that requires strength and power and the feeling of being awesome! That's right Blue Sky; it's time to discover your inner awesome.
I know that Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners promote a family-friendly lifestyle. I know they make you feel safe. I know why in Blue Sky they are the number one selling wiener. They make you feel comfortable. They make you feel like you're dining with a friend or your family. Well Blue Sky, how about dining with a stranger! That's right take a walk on the wild side and dine with a stranger that is on Fyre! Yes Surefyre wieners may be a little warm in your mouth and they may even make you feel a little dangerous, but I think that is what this town needs! I can see it in your eyes people, the excitement, and the wonder! You can't lie to me. Through your aura I can see right into your soul: you need some shaking up, you need some Fyre in your life! You need to spice things up like you've never spiced things up before! You need Surefyre winners! Now enough yacking; let's get back to rocking!"
And with that, well if Sherman Fyre didn't already have the folks of Blue Sky eating out of the palm of his hand, they were now! Quite literally actually. Everyone soon lined up enjoyed a Surefyre Wiener right from the palm of his hand. It was sort of disturbing actually and a sort of cult like atmosphere settled in at the picnic and/or barbecue. Everyone was caught up in the new, in the exciting, and in the Fyre.
Well, everyone except Hal Leisure and his Meaty Members. While Sherman Fyre was wooing the crowd with his next round of vocal acrobatics and wiener eating, nobody noticed Hal Leisure and his Meaty Members pack up their instruments, haul away the speakers and take down the stage.
Nobody even noticed the sound of Hal frowning above the sound of rocking out. Hal was feeling so desperate for even a little affirmation, for a little hint that he may still be an ok guy that while his Meaty Members were taking down the stage, Hal tried calling his family on his cell phone. He caught glimpses of them at the Annual Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners parade followed by picnic and/or barbecue, but they never approached the stage to join in his song as he'd hoped they would. Rumor had reached his ears that at some point during the picnic and/or barbeque that his absurdly beautiful Blue Sky wife suddenly had left the kids at the picnic and/or barbeque to run off with someone. Hal never quite caught who she was rumored to have run off with but I truly believe that she may have been off somewhere, helping Andre put those ridiculous stickers on the bun bags… If you know what I mean… Or maybe you don't. Maybe you're of the age where you really don't catch innuendo which may be for the best.
However, no one at home answered and so Hal lingered in the space where the stage had been for a while, after his Meaty Members had gone home, hoping his family would come and find him. When it was clear they would not be joining him in his frown and disappointment, Hal picked up his guitar case. Before heading to his car, he watched the mayhem that was Sherman Fyre and the All Fyred up crew easily working over the Blue Sky Folks like... people are easily worked over. I apologize that could be beer clouding my brain. I'm having trouble coming up with metaphors to fit this dark moment, or I suppose that would be a simile since I use the word "like". The point is that Hal stayed there longer than he really wanted to. He watched his Blue Sky folks, his loyal Blue Sky customers become something he never expected; fans of another kind of wiener. Mostly, he never expected it because until recently Hal didn't even know he had competition. It's amazing how moving to Blue Sky put Hal Leisure's head firmly in the clouds.
After about an hour of waiting for his family to show up... and the whole time he was waiting he knew in his heart that they actually wouldn't show up... Hal slowly headed to his car to go home. On the way to his car, Hal ran into his dentist.
"Hey there Hal, Hal are you doing? You seem to be walking to your car, at your Leisure."
"Oh, Dr. Korn...I didn't see you there...lurking behind my car, but ah...yes, good one! Hal are you, instead of How are you. I get it. Very clever."
"And the leisure part? Was that good too?"
"The...oh yes, walking at my Leisure. Excellent. Wow...you are quite funny Dr. Korn.
"Well, yes, I am a riot, but lately...I've had a lot of time to work on my jokes."
"Sorry?"
"To work on my jokes...you know...when I'm not golfing...I work on my jokes...during my free time."
"OH, that's nice Dr. Korn. To have free time I mean."
"Yes...but Hal...I haven't seen you in the office for a while? You must be due for a checkup?"
"You may be right Dr. Korn, I think my teeth are fine, I floss every day...sometimes twice a day...and I also use a really good tooth—Dr. Korn. I'm sorry Dr. Korn, but I just don't....I don't really want to talk about my teeth right now. I'd really like to go home. I've had a rather...unexpected event interrupt and well basically ruin my parade and picnic and/or barbeque. This day, the day of the Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wiener parade is usually the highlight of my year, next to Wiener Treat Days at the office, but...I just...I need go home and have a huge think on how I'm not going to let this get me down. This frown that you see on my face now? Well, as soon as I can find some rays of hope in the cloudy day, it's coming off. It's hurting me, Dr. Korn. This frown is hurting me."
"Hmmm...you know that is too bad Hal. I sure hate to see a frown take the place of that ridiculous smile that you normally have plastered on that pasty mug of yours, but life isn't always up, Hal. No matter how much you don't want clouds to cover your Blue Sky, you can't always predict what's coming. Or in your case, have the faintest clue what was coming. I hear you hadn't even heard of Sherman Fyre until recently. Anyway, you should always keep a frown in your back pocket Hal because you just never know when something like...a competing wiener company is going to set up shop in your town, set up out of the clear blue sky, and extremely quickly because the new company has a way of bypassing permit laws so don't even try to find a loop hole and try to shut him down; yes, Sherman Fyre has set up shop in your town, almost like he was asked to come here and deliberately try to take your business away. You never know when that's going to happen to you Hal! So keep that frown around for things like that and for when you find out other things...such as why is your absurdly beautiful Blue Sky wife not giving you the attention she used to or for when you start to question whether or not those really are your kids! Just keep that frown handy Hal because the good times, they aren't always going to be around!"
"Wow...thank-you...Dr. Korn, but if you know me...and really I don't think you do, but you seem to know about a lot about my life that apparently I'm blind to...I'm not one for staying down. No sir...I'll find a way to wipe this frown off my face! Before you know it, I'll have my ridiculous smile plastered, once again on my pasty mug!"
"We'll see about that."
"Yes, we...what? What did you say?"
But when Hal looked up from his shoes, Dr. Korn was gone and all that was left was the smell of bubble gum scented fluoride...
Wednesday, November 28, 2012
Nano 2012: Chapter Eleven, Bonus Feature
Hello again Blog Fans!
Three times in one day...I'll bet you're just sick of me!
So, I've uploaded video to You Tube and it still doesn't believe it exists...well it believes that it exists enough for the link to work, but not enough for me to upload to video to this page. That will come eventually...let's try again just for fun...
Three times in one day...I'll bet you're just sick of me!
So, I've uploaded video to You Tube and it still doesn't believe it exists...well it believes that it exists enough for the link to work, but not enough for me to upload to video to this page. That will come eventually...let's try again just for fun...
Hey it works! How exciting for you!
For those of you who are not Adam Lambert fans, this song is actually a
parody of his song "Sure Fire Winners". To better understand my version,
I suggest going to You Tube and looking up Adam's song. I think it will
add a deeper level to your experience. Plus, I must let you know that
when I purchased the album "For Your Entertainment" Adam's album that
has "Sure Fire Winners" on it, Sean, when forced to listen to the song,
almost from the first time hearing the song,starting singing "Sure fire
Wieners" instead of the actual words. He thought he was being so
clever...ha, ha, ha. But now the joke's on him because that funny antic
was one the keys that opened the door to the wonder and the marvel that
is Top Dog. Lucky you! You can thank or lay the blame for this story and
the songs that go with it at Sean's feet.
And now, I'm going to go because frankly I've spent too much time on the computer today.
Until next time, next Wednesday if all goes well,
I wish you happy reading and a I breathe a sigh of relief that Nano is over for another year!
Cheers!
Cin
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