It's Sean...THORt of...

Hello Blog Fans!

This is part one of my blog time today...I'm running late and need to get on with my day, but first I wanted to post this...

 

And then I'd like to wish my wonderful husband a very happy birthday. We gave him this hammer for his birthday and he was a very good sport and agreed to pose for this photo. Actually, he's kicking himself because he suggested it. "Hey I should put on that blond wig and-" and it went from there. However, he was very sad to find out that this will not be a two way street. There will be no pictures of me dressed up as Poison Ivy or Cat Woman posted anywhere on the internet.

Happy Birthday my love, my best friend, my very own super hero.

I shall return with part two...eventually.

Have a good day and always remember to

Cin

Nano 2012: Top Dog Chapter Thirteen

Well, hello Blog Fans

And welcome to another Wiener Wednesday! I know you've all been waiting for this day, so I won't ramble long.

I know too that you're probably wondering how Brent Holland and his family are doing with the fact that the town of Blue Sky turning their back on Meathy Teeth's Leisure Wieners and if you have been wondering, you'll be happy to know that this week and next week I'm posting chapters filled with Holland Family Nonsense!

You enjoy these ramblings. I'm going to go do the dishes.

Very best,
Cin

PS: please be warned that usually I have another set of eyes read over my chapters but as no one else is home and I really want to post this, you'll just have to deal with my super errors.

***

Chapter Thirteen

While Hal Leisure tried to reinstate his face from frown smile everybody else in town was whipped into a Surefyre frenzy. For the next few weeks Blue Sky was blanketed in Fyre, Surefyre that is; Surefyre Wieners is more to the point. It seems that the people of Blue Sky couldn't get enough of them. What's most interesting about this whole situation is that it's not as if Surefyre Wieners were never sold in stores in Blue Sky before now and wasn't as if nobody Blue Sky ever tried Surefyre Wieners before; the situation before this Surefyre Frenzy was that the majority of people in town were loyal to Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners and never gave Surefyre Wieners a second glance.

Now it was the opposite. The folks in Blue Sky now ignored Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners and the free floss that came with every pack. While I'm sure the Surefyre Wieners got stuck in their teeth too, they didn't seem to care. In grocery stores all over Blue Sky Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners and the floss started to crowd their storerooms. Rumor has it that after a couple weeks of dismal sales, the Blue Sky grocery stores stopped placing their regular orders for Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners. The store managers knew that right now, with everybody being so crazy for Surefyre Wieners and Sherman Fyre himself walking the streets daily, greeting everybody in Blue Sky with is infections energy and slightly unnerving smile, the grocery store managers knew that Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners were no longer popular. Even the sales of Family Time French Fries dropped drastically once the people Blue Sky started buying Surefyre Wieners. It was as though they forgot that you could eat Family Time French with foodstuffs that were not Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners. Yes, it was a dark time and not just for Hal Leisure but for Blue Sky. The Blue Sky folk just didn't know it yet.

However, I would like to point out that not everybody in Blue Sky stopped being loyal to Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners. There is at least one man in town who in spite of all of the new attention now being heaped upon Surefyre Wieners, stayed true to the brand of wiener that he loved the most.

Let us go across town and pay another visit to Brent Holland and his family. It's Tuesday night which if you recall, and I'm really hoping you do, that Tuesday night in the Holland household is Tuesday Wiener night. Brent Holland has just sat down at his table with his daughter and his son and they are waiting for his wife, to bring out the silver tray heaped high with roasted Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners for Tuesday Wiener Night. She is of course also preparing Family Time French Fries for everyone as well. They are such a hit with the Holland Household that they have become a part of not just Tuesday Wiener Night, but they are now a part of any family event or special occasion that the Holland's may celebrate on Saturdays as well.

I'm going to turn the table over to Brent Holland now. It appears he's had a bit of a bad day, and he looks a little rough so, let's see what is happening in his world.

"Well family, son and daughter, it sure is nice to come home after a hard day of not selling pens and find my family waiting for me at the table and being just as excited as I am that it is Tuesday. Tuesday Wiener night taken on a whole new meaning right kids? Tuesday Wiener night now means loyalty and not just enjoyment of Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners Wiener's. I know you've probably heard a lot of the kids at school talking about how much their families enjoy Surefyre Wieners; kids who belong to families who used to be loyal to Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners as we still are. I just, I just wanted to ask how you, son and daughter, were handling this new situation?"

"What new situation would that be exactly Dad?"

"The whole new situation being that we are one of the only families in town that have stayed loyal to Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners. The new situation being that you hang around with kids who belong to families who used to be loyal to Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners, but are now happily riding on the Surefyre Wiener bandwagon. "

"Gee, Daddy, I don't really know how to put this but we don't really talk about wieners at school..."

"Pardon me, daughter?"

"I'm sorry Daddy, but what kind of wiener's other families preferred to eat at home never really comes up. No it's... It's just what we talk about other things like boys and music we like... you know, girl stuff Daddy."

"Really?

"Yes really. I hope that doesn't upset you didn't think this is a case where I needed to lie to make you feel better... You know the way I lie about and how much I really enjoy Tuesday Wiener night?"

"No no; I understand completely. I understand the wieners would not than necessarily be a topic of conversation amongst young girls. That's okay. I'm glad that you didn't lie to me because there is no need. But thank you for continuing to lie to me about enjoying Tuesday Wiener night. After all the on goings with the town no longer being loyal to its finest homegrown product, I'm not sure I could take it. Keep up the lie. Now son... How about you? Are you having any issues at school when it comes to your friend's families now preferring Surefyre Wieners over Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners? Has it come to fisticuffs in the playground?"

"Yes – yes, I think I'm having issues."

"Well you are sporting a rather large black eye right now so I was just wondering exactly what the reason for that is and my first guess would be that it is about wieners and loyalty and all things that I hold dear."

"Yeah it was it was totally about wieners. I heard some kids in the back of playground talking about how they now eat Surefyre Wieners instead of Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners and I went up to them and said 'Hey that's really, really bad because my Dad, he loves Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners and on Tuesday nights we enjoy Tuesday Wiener Night and I think it's not cool the everybody now thinks that Surefyre Wieners are better.'"

"So you went up and confronted them then they punched you?"

"Yes that's exactly what happened."

"Really, son?"

"Yep I wouldn't lie about something like that that! No, I wouldn't lie about wieners. My getting punched had nothing to do with the boys planning on telling the principal that I was the one responsible for filling her desk with snakes and worms and dirt and whatever else I could find in the parking lot out back and then gluing her desk shut for the second time. That's not what they were talking about. They were talking about wieners and when I heard them talking about the wieners, and not the principal, I got mad and I threatened them and before I got a chance to get them to change their minds about their wieners they punched me."

"Well son, that is quite a heroic tale."

"I thought so… I thought it was best to speak the truth..."

"So it really was but the wieners and not about principal's desk again"

"No Dad just like last time I never glued the principal's desk shut. This was all about wieners."

"Well that is – it's hard you know son when you have to stand up for your principles I'm proud to you. Thank-you."

"Daddy..."

"Yes daughter"

"I think you're letting him get away with stuff at school again, I don't think he's telling the truth."

"That's where you're wrong daughter. Your brother is telling the truth; the truth about loyalty and truth about wieners. Whatever else happens on Tuesdays doesn't matter to me daughter. If your brother was to set the school on fire and stand there basking in its fiery glow and cackling at his mischief, if he did that on Tuesday and did it with Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners in his hands and he roasted those Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners over the fire and he brought them home for dinner, well I would just be so proud because he was loyal to Tuesday Wiener night."

"Yeah but he would've set the school on fire..."

"Tuesday Wiener night daughter and Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners they go hand-in-hand and that is the way it is in my house— I'm sorry our house. Look I don't mean to be up in your grill or whatever you young people say but, I've just had a rough few weeks and the only thing that gets me through is knowing that on Tuesday nights my wife will present to me on a silver platter under a silver lid Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners with a side of Family Time French Fries. Do you understand me?"

"Yes Daddy... I think I do... Are you crying?"

"Crying? No, I'm not crying. I'm just passionate about wieners."

"Oh, okay...you just to sound really stuffy."

"No daughter I just have cold which is also adding to my pain today because I can't smell the roasted Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners very well. Actually the Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners almost smell different than they normally do. Yes, my cold must be messing with my sense of smell, because they actually smell spicier than usual and why am I not seeing floss on the table?"

Well...I think we're on the brink of something unnerving and I'm in need of a breather, aren't you? Join me in the next Chapter, Chapter Fourteen when we will find together why there is no floss on the dining room table at the Holland Household on Tuesday Wiener Night!

Nano 2012: Top Dog, Chapter Twelve

Hello Blog Fans

Wiener Wednesday is here...ok it's almost over, but just under the wire, I have the next Chapter of Top Dog for your scrutiny!

And now, I've off to bed!

Enjoy,
Cin

***

Chapter Twelve

Only it wasn't good night or a farewell. Sherman Fyre, as it turned out, had a lot more to say and sing about. You see after – what? Reader, why are you interrupting? Okay, so I took a little longer to come back to this story than I had intended. But there was a cute blonde hanging around the edge of the park who looked lonely and it looked like she needed someone to talk to. What? How could she see me? Well...I don't —I told you I have powers! If I want to interact with people in a story that may or may not have already happened, I can! So there!

However, I must confess. I'm a little concerned as she looked a lot like Hal Leisure's absurdly beautiful Blue Sky wife, but it was dark so I couldn't really see her very well...and we only talked. Yes, I was a true gentleman so I suppose it doesn't matter who the lovely creature staying out of the direct light was.

Oh don't you give me attitude. You are getting a little too comfortable with me and my narration and it's bringing out your saucy side! Look, I forgot that I was supposed to come back at some point in chapter ten ok? And no, I wasn't there for the start of chapter eleven either, but I'm here now, and I'll be a big part of Chapter Twelve. It'll be alright.

So, let's get a move on. I'm here now to give you the lowdown on the aftermath that occurred once Sherman Fyre and his All Fyred Up Crew finished up their "Surefyre Wieners" song. Yes, let me tell you it was mayhem. The crowd absolutely went crazy for Sherman Fyre and Hal Leisure, no matter how many pleas he called to the crowd, to the Blue Sky folk, from his position on his stage Hal could not get the crowd back. They had forgotten all about him because not only did Sherman Fyre woo the crowd with his very catchy and, I have to admit, far superior company song (I know Hal said that his song was supposed to be about Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners but he was yammering on more about himself and his past that nobody really seems to care about. Or do they?) but for many hours after his fantastic entrance, Sherman Fyre entertained the crowd with various songs of a rocklike nature. And you know, for a man who was a bit round around the middle I have to say he is extremely agile and nimble on his feet. The crowd ate it up every second that he was on stage and they loved him. Moreover, not only did they love him they loved his wieners. People, who for years had shunned Surefyre Wieners and had only ever tried Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners, jumped at the chance to try the Surefyre Wieners. Sherman's cronies were throwing those hot wieners out to the crowd by the dozens from his portable stage/float and the people there, the once loyal to Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners Blue Sky crowd; they were using the barbecues that Hal Leisure had provided for the Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners to cook their freshly caught Surefyre Wieners on. You know, I sincerely believe that every time somebody threw a Surefyre Wiener on one of Hal's barbecues, a little piece of Hal Leisure's soul died.

Frankly watching Hal try to win the crowd back, even after they started cooking and eating Surefyre Wieners at the Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners picnic and/or barbeque was little hard to swallow. In his final attempt to win back the Blue Sky crown back to his side Hal tried reminding the crowd that some of the bands had yet to sing their wiener songs and then letting them know that he could not give out the Giant Golden Wiener Prize for best Wiener or French fry song without the crowd hearing all of the songs. However, nobody was listening and nobody cared; they just continued to scream along with Sherman Fyre and cook his Surefyre Wieners on Hal's barbeques.

The worst part of that whole picnic and/or barbeque was that while Hal stood there and watched his once beloved and loyal Blue Sky crowd turn their attention on Sherman Fyre, as he watched everything he'd worked for slip away after 15 years of not even knowing that this robust showman in his fairly fine red suit even existed, Hal's face slowly slipped into a frown. I truly believe that as Hal Leisure's Meaty Members witnessed Hal's never changing sunny expression turn into something dark and heinous, a bit of each of their souls died.

About halfway through Sherman Fyre's concert he took it down a few notches. While Sherman sat on the edge of this float/ portable stage and talked to the crowd and a member of his All Fyred up crew played classical guitar in the background, he told the Blue Sky folk this tale:

"Folks of Blue Sky, I'd like to tell you a little tale. It's a tale about a man who had a dream about wieners. When I was growing up wieners were my favorite food. I couldn't get enough of them. However, at the same time, I always felt that there was something missing from the wieners. I felt, I felt that they could be something more than just a tube to put on a bun and cover in ketchup. I wanted them to be so much more. I felt that people should not have to put ketchup on the wieners. I wanted to invent, to create the kind of wiener people would eat without the aid of condiments. I wanted to create a wiener people would crave.

After I graduated from high school I went to college which kept me busy, but I never forgot about wieners and my dream of better wieners. While I was at college I did some crazy things! I experimented with all kinds of foods, I talked to people I ignored in high school and went to independent films. You know the kinds of films they show in tiny theaters with not terribly strict hygiene code… Ya, that's right! I did all the crazy things you do at college when you want to feel different and novel and fit in!

Now, one night after I went to a club and digested a belly full of acid jazz, I went out for some Filipino food. I was in the mood for some pork. I ordered a pork dish. The pork was golden fried and it was coated in a spicy blend of flavors. Now I don't know whether what's the mood and lighting or the belly full of acid jazz… but that night I came up with something extraordinary. That was the night that I decided the how and the what that would become my famous wiener creation. It was that night that I came up with the plan to add spice to wieners. It was, if I may, a Surefyre idea. And before I had even left that little Filipino restaurant, I knew they would be a hit, a Surefyre winner and therefore in an instant, Sherman Fyre's spicy wiener plan became Surefyre Wieners. I paid for my delicious and inspiring Filipino pork dish and I left that place knowing that I was about to embark on a path of wiener glory known only to a few men.

A few men like Hal Leisure. Now I know most of you Blue Sky folk are loyal to Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners and a lot of you Blue Sky Folk, I'm guessing, don't like change. But come on Blue Sky, every once in a while you step up and try something new and keep that new thing in your life for a long time, not just for one day. I'm not here to ruin Hal's business no-no! I'm here to give him some healthy competition. I'm here give you, the people of Blue Sky, a choice! Now when you go shopping you can either buy Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners with its free pack of loss or you can buy Surefyre Wieners that comes with nothing but the feeling of being awesome. Surefyre wieners will make you feel powerful, they'll make you feel stronger and they'll make you feel like you can do anything that requires strength and power and the feeling of being awesome! That's right Blue Sky; it's time to discover your inner awesome.

I know that Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners promote a family-friendly lifestyle. I know they make you feel safe. I know why in Blue Sky they are the number one selling wiener. They make you feel comfortable. They make you feel like you're dining with a friend or your family. Well Blue Sky, how about dining with a stranger! That's right take a walk on the wild side and dine with a stranger that is on Fyre! Yes Surefyre wieners may be a little warm in your mouth and they may even make you feel a little dangerous, but I think that is what this town needs! I can see it in your eyes people, the excitement, and the wonder! You can't lie to me. Through your aura I can see right into your soul: you need some shaking up, you need some Fyre in your life! You need to spice things up like you've never spiced things up before! You need Surefyre winners! Now enough yacking; let's get back to rocking!"

And with that, well if Sherman Fyre didn't already have the folks of Blue Sky eating out of the palm of his hand, they were now! Quite literally actually. Everyone soon lined up enjoyed a Surefyre Wiener right from the palm of his hand. It was sort of disturbing actually and a sort of cult like atmosphere settled in at the picnic and/or barbecue. Everyone was caught up in the new, in the exciting, and in the Fyre.

Well, everyone except Hal Leisure and his Meaty Members. While Sherman Fyre was wooing the crowd with his next round of vocal acrobatics and wiener eating, nobody noticed Hal Leisure and his Meaty Members pack up their instruments, haul away the speakers and take down the stage.

Nobody even noticed the sound of Hal frowning above the sound of rocking out. Hal was feeling so desperate for even a little affirmation, for a little hint that he may still be an ok guy that while his Meaty Members were taking down the stage, Hal tried calling his family on his cell phone. He caught glimpses of them at the Annual Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners parade followed by picnic and/or barbecue, but they never approached the stage to join in his song as he'd hoped they would. Rumor had reached his ears that at some point during the picnic and/or barbeque that his absurdly beautiful Blue Sky wife suddenly had left the kids at the picnic and/or barbeque to run off with someone. Hal never quite caught who she was rumored to have run off with but I truly believe that she may have been off somewhere, helping Andre put those ridiculous stickers on the bun bags… If you know what I mean… Or maybe you don't. Maybe you're of the age where you really don't catch innuendo which may be for the best.

However, no one at home answered and so Hal lingered in the space where the stage had been for a while, after his Meaty Members had gone home, hoping his family would come and find him. When it was clear they would not be joining him in his frown and disappointment, Hal picked up his guitar case. Before heading to his car, he watched the mayhem that was Sherman Fyre and the All Fyred up crew easily working over the Blue Sky Folks like... people are easily worked over. I apologize that could be beer clouding my brain. I'm having trouble coming up with metaphors to fit this dark moment, or I suppose that would be a simile since I use the word "like". The point is that Hal stayed there longer than he really wanted to. He watched his Blue Sky folks, his loyal Blue Sky customers become something he never expected; fans of another kind of wiener. Mostly, he never expected it because until recently Hal didn't even know he had competition. It's amazing how moving to Blue Sky put Hal Leisure's head firmly in the clouds.

After about an hour of waiting for his family to show up... and the whole time he was waiting he knew in his heart that they actually wouldn't show up... Hal slowly headed to his car to go home. On the way to his car, Hal ran into his dentist.

"Hey there Hal, Hal are you doing? You seem to be walking to your car, at your Leisure."

"Oh, Dr. Korn...I didn't see you there...lurking behind my car, but ah...yes, good one! Hal are you, instead of How are you. I get it. Very clever."

"And the leisure part? Was that good too?"

"The...oh yes, walking at my Leisure. Excellent. Wow...you are quite funny Dr. Korn.

"Well, yes, I am a riot, but lately...I've had a lot of time to work on my jokes."

"Sorry?"

"To work on my jokes...you know...when I'm not golfing...I work on my jokes...during my free time."

"OH, that's nice Dr. Korn. To have free time I mean."

"Yes...but Hal...I haven't seen you in the office for a while? You must be due for a checkup?"

"You may be right Dr. Korn, I think my teeth are fine, I floss every day...sometimes twice a day...and I also use a really good tooth—Dr. Korn. I'm sorry Dr. Korn, but I just don't....I don't really want to talk about my teeth right now. I'd really like to go home. I've had a rather...unexpected event interrupt and well basically ruin my parade and picnic and/or barbeque. This day, the day of the Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wiener parade is usually the highlight of my year, next to Wiener Treat Days at the office, but...I just...I need go home and have a huge think on how I'm not going to let this get me down. This frown that you see on my face now? Well, as soon as I can find some rays of hope in the cloudy day, it's coming off. It's hurting me, Dr. Korn. This frown is hurting me."

"Hmmm...you know that is too bad Hal. I sure hate to see a frown take the place of that ridiculous smile that you normally have plastered on that pasty mug of yours, but life isn't always up, Hal. No matter how much you don't want clouds to cover your Blue Sky, you can't always predict what's coming. Or in your case, have the faintest clue what was coming. I hear you hadn't even heard of Sherman Fyre until recently. Anyway, you should always keep a frown in your back pocket Hal because you just never know when something like...a competing wiener company is going to set up shop in your town, set up out of the clear blue sky, and extremely quickly because the new company has a way of bypassing permit laws so don't even try to find a loop hole and try to shut him down; yes, Sherman Fyre has set up shop in your town, almost like he was asked to come here and deliberately try to take your business away. You never know when that's going to happen to you Hal! So keep that frown around for things like that and for when you find out other things...such as why is your absurdly beautiful Blue Sky wife not giving you the attention she used to or for when you start to question whether or not those really are your kids! Just keep that frown handy Hal because the good times, they aren't always going to be around!"

"Wow...thank-you...Dr. Korn, but if you know me...and really I don't think you do, but you seem to know about a lot about my life that apparently I'm blind to...I'm not one for staying down. No sir...I'll find a way to wipe this frown off my face! Before you know it, I'll have my ridiculous smile plastered, once again on my pasty mug!"

"We'll see about that."

"Yes, we...what? What did you say?"

But when Hal looked up from his shoes, Dr. Korn was gone and all that was left was the smell of bubble gum scented fluoride...

Nano 2012: Chapter Eleven, Bonus Feature

Hello again Blog Fans!

Three times in one day...I'll bet you're just sick of me!

So, I've uploaded  video to You Tube and it still doesn't believe it exists...well it believes that it exists enough for the link to work, but not enough for me to upload to video to this page. That will come eventually...let's try again just for fun...

 Hey it works! How exciting for you!

For those of you who are not Adam Lambert fans, this song is actually a parody of his song "Sure Fire Winners". To better understand my version, I suggest going to You Tube and looking up Adam's song. I think it will add a deeper level to your experience. Plus, I must let you know that when I purchased the album "For Your Entertainment" Adam's album that has "Sure Fire Winners" on it, Sean, when forced to listen to the song, almost from the first time hearing the song,starting singing "Sure fire Wieners" instead of the actual words. He thought he was being so clever...ha, ha, ha. But now the joke's on him because that funny antic was one the keys that opened the door to the wonder and the marvel that is Top Dog. Lucky you! You can thank or lay the blame for this story and the songs that go with it at Sean's feet.

And now, I'm going to go because frankly I've spent too much time on the computer today.

Until next time, next Wednesday if all goes well, 

I wish you happy reading and a I breathe a sigh of relief that Nano is over for another year!

Cheers!

Cin

Nano 2012: Top Dog, Chapter Eleven

Hello once again Blog Fans


I am back and that's all you're going to get for me for this intro because as promised, it's time for Chapter Eleven!

Enjoy, or be confused or shake your head at how ridiculous this whole story is...

Cin

***

Chapter Eleven

"Surefyre what? I'm sorry, I didn't quite catch who you are or who you represent. Also, you said a couple words in the closing sentence of Chapter Ten that I didn't understand. Were you saying actual words or just clearing your throat?"

"Oh ho! You're a smart one Hal Leisure, but don't play dumb with me! You know exactly who I am!"

"See...there's where you're wrong. I really don't know who you are. I suppose on some level I would like to. You seem like a man who has confidence in spades and would be a worthy adversary in any realm but, nope. Gosh, darn. I just can't place you."

"You are joking right? You are only pretending to not know who I am, because everyone knows who I am. You're just trying to play the big man in Blue Sky by pretending that you don't know who I am!"

"Gee, I really wish that I could say that this is all an act, but I'm sorry it's not. I'm not a leg pulling kind of guy. Sincere is my middle name. Really, except it's 'Ddiffuant' which is sincere in Welsh. And speaking of different languages, can we get back to the two words you threw into your entrance at the end of Chapter Ten? Or maybe you don't really know and you were just trying to wow the crowd with your linguistics as well as your acrobatics? I couldn't help but notice that in spite of the tightness of your fairly fine red suit, you are quite a limber man."

"Stop distracting with your rambling nature Hal! I was—the words were goodbye and hello in Dutch! Any fool would know that!"

"Well, then I guess I'm not a fool because I didn't know what you were trying to say."

"Really? I thought that the placement of the words in the sentence would sort of lend a hand to the meaning, even if you didn't know the words."

"Did you? How so?"

"Well, I said a commonly used business advertising phrase, but instead of saying goodbye and hello in boring old English, I spiced it up with a little Dutch! Because that is what I do! That is how I roll! I like things that are hot! Things that are spicy! Hal Leisure, even though you claim to not know, let me introduce myself: I am Sherman Fyre! Owner, operator and mad genius of Surefyre Wieners!"

"You're Sherman Fyre? Really? Isn't that funny. I only heard tell of you last week when my Meaty Members talked of your success in the wiener business while we were discussing my recent and accidental trip to a Dentist trade show. Really, it was only last week and here you are! I've got to ask, Mr. Fyre, why are you here in Blue Sky?"

"Hal Leisure, you are man who could make a deaf man weep with your words! How dare you say that you only heard of me last week! For fifteen years you and I have been arch foes, heavy competitors in the wiener business! How could you not know that ever since you opened Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners here in Blue Sky that our wieners have been fighting for the number one wieners in this superb country! In some towns, Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners are number one while in other towns, Surefyre Wieners reign supreme! But in Blue Sky, in this lovely town, I have never been able to reach number one. You and your Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners and your free packs of floss, your company has cornered the wiener market in this sleepy town. But no more! Blue Sky, I'm here to remind you that when it comes to wieners you have a choice! You can either have Meaty Teeth or Fyre Breath! Hal Leisure, if what you say is true, if you really didn't know who I was or that our wiener companies are competitors, then this, good sir, is your 'in your face, hit you over the head, kick you square in the lower bits hidden in that sky blue leisure suit wakeup call'! People of Blue Sky, Surefyre Wieners is setting up shop in Blue Sky! That's right Hal Leisure! Now the people of this town will have two choices when it comes to how they want to fill their buns! They can support Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners that are so full of ah...meat that they have to waste away precious minutes of their lives after every Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wiener meal to get rid of the ah...meat stuck between their teeth or they can buy Surefyre Wieners that don't leave excess and wasteful ah...meat in their teeth but instead fill their mouths with spicy goodness and leave them with the breath of a fiery dragon! People of Blue Sky, what do you say?

"That was a fine speech Mr. Fyre. Well played and quite eloquent even though you didn't try to wow us with more Dutch, but I think I speak for everyone in Blue Sky when I say that the town of Blue Sky is very loyal to Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners and most people in Blue Sky who buy wieners buy Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners because the ah...meat in the wieners is of a very high quality and they like flossing! Our healthy smile rating is just proof of that! No, Mr. Fyre, Blue Sky is not going to simply roll over and buy your wieners just because you show up on a fancy and large and excessively loud float and prance around all limber like in your fine red suit and speak foreign in a foreign language to try to impress the crowd float, not when you show up in the middle of our Annual Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners Parade and picnic and/or barbeque! No they won't stand for it! Blue Sky doesn't appreciate competition or interruptions!

"I'm sorry Hal Leisure, but I couldn't hear you over the sound of the crowd cheering for Surefyre Wieners! Could you repeat that?"

"Yes...well...no... Not all of it. I said a lot and I'll drive people away if I try to repeat all of it. Basically, to boil down my point, what I said was that the people of Blue Sky are loyal to Meaty Teeth Leisure Wieners!"

"That's sort of what you said Hal, but what I think you said was something about simply rolling over because I show up on a fancy float in the middle of your Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wiener picnic and or/ barbecue. And you know what Hal, this crowd may be cheering for me now, but in the long run, you may be right. I may have underestimated this Blue Sky Crowd. Surefyre wieners have been available in Blue Sky grocery stores for longer than Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners, but they never have sold as well in Blue Sky because of the loyalty Blue Sky shows to your company.

However, Blue Sky, I'm here to let you all know that tomorrow I'm opening the doors of the brand-new Surefyre Wiener office right here in Blue Sky. I'm shortening the competition distance between our wiener companies Hal Leisure! I'm bringing my competition right to your door step. Surefyre Wieners won't just be another wiener product in Blue Sky grocery stores. No, no! They will now be another fine and local Blue Sky product that the people of Blue Sky will want to support because the people of Blue Sky are very loyal to their local businesses! "

"Again I think you are wrong Mr. Fyre. I think you're in for a bucket of disappointment."

"Well I don't think I am! Why don't we ask this fine Blue Sky crowd if they are ready to support a brand-new wiener company in Blue Sky? Blue sky folks are you ready to support a different kind of wieners? Are you ready for Surefyre Wieners?"

"Well, well, well... By the sound of the screaming coming from this Blue Sky crowd, I'm thinking they are ready to start branching out when it comes to buying wieners for their families. Oh what's that Hal Leisure? Have you got nothing to say? That's fine because I got one more question for this group of fine half-drunk Blue Sky residents; Blue Sky residents are you ready to rock? Take it away boys!"

We love surefire wieners

(wieners, wieners, wieners)



Sherman Fyre here on the scene

To give you a show like you've never seen

To bring pandemonium on to every store

That wants to see wieners with a little more



You'll want to buy what I have to sell

Yes, that's right I now you will

Cause every mouth here wants to feel

The taste of fire bought at such a good deal!



We love Surefyre Wieners

Uh oh ya, spicy wieners

We love Surefyre Wieners

Uh oh ya, red hot wieners

Feeling the heat all through your mouth

Giving you something to shout about

We love, we love, we love Surefyre Wieners

(Surefyre Wieners, Surefyre Wieners, Surefyre Wieners)



Strike a match start a barbeque fire

Spicy wieners is what you desire

Surefyre Dogs cookin over a flame

Ya, no other wieners taste quite the same



I was born with ketchup on my face

As a boy, I knew my place

Was creating dogs worthy of praise

And not a lazy dog to eat in the shade



We love Surefyre Wieners

Uh oh ya, spicy wieners

We love Surefyre Wieners

Uh oh ya, red hot wieners

Feeling the heat all through your mouth

Giving you something to shout about

We love, we love, we love Surefyre Wieners

(Surefyre Wieners, Surefyre Wieners, Surefyre Wieners)



Ya Blue Sky! Are you listening? These aren't wieners that you eat whenever you feel like it. These aren't wieners you eat at your leisure! No, these are wieners that mean business! They will rule you! They tell you when it's time to eat and the time is now! Don't settle for bland, tasteless, always getting stuck in your teeth wieners that make you a slave to dental hygiene! No, Blue Sky make the decision to say yes to wieners that will wake you, shake all the leisure out of your system and fill your body with the heat spicy goodness! Much like those other wieners, Surefyre Wieners will stick around for a while after, but not in your teeth! No, Surefyre Wieners stick around...in your soul! Surefyre Wieners become a part of you. Surefyre Wieners give you energy to go out and do something crazy! What do those other, lazy wieners do? They don't fill the gaps between your teeth with their excess ah...meat and make you have spend time, no...let me correct myself... WASTE time in front a mirror. You could me smiling at the world instead of smiling at yourself! Let's face it, let's call a spaten a spaten! Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners, sure they leave you with a healthy smile, but that smile, it is one that belongs to a lonely face. It is connected to a lonely heart. Serve up Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners at your next party, go to the bathroom to floss, then what happens? Everyone has left you to go floss...alone! Nobody flosses with you am I right? Flossing is a solitary activity! Or it should be. Nobody is impressed by what you pull out of your teeth with your free floss! Nobody needs to see what Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners leaves behind! What comes out of your teeth should be between you and your dentist. Leave the flossing to the professionals and find the power, the fuel for passion and the breath of life that comes with every pack of Surefyre Wieners!

Now, if for some reason my posture, my strut and the surefooted moves I'm serving up to you along with my red hot words have not convinced to trade in leisure for power, perhaps these two fine gentlemen can do the job. Please welcome to the stage, Adam Lambert and Snoop Dog!

OOOOOO cook your dogs on a wild fire with me!

Gonna take you on flavor ride like you'll never believe

Never gonna stop till we reach the top (dog)

Never gonna stop till we reach the top (dog)

Hal better get out of the game

His sales aren't never gonna be the same

Blue Sky's bringing Surefyre Wieners Home!



You'll love Surefyre Wieners

Uh oh ya spicy wieners

You'll love Surefyre Wieners

Uh oh ya, red hot wieners



Bringing the heat to your leisure town

Sherman's givin you something to shout about

You'll love, you'll love, you'll love Surefyre Wieners!



Sing it with us Blue Sky!



We love Surefyre Wieners

Ya no more leisure wieners

We love Surefyre Wieners

Ya we'll buy Sherman's wieners



Lighting a fire in our mouths

Sherman's givin you something to howl about

We love, we love, we love Surefyre Wieners!



Gonna take you on a flavor ride like you'll never believe

Gonna take you on a flavor ride like you'll never believe



Thank- you Blue Sky for your time! I've been Sherman Fyre and you've been a beautiful audience! Next time you're out shopping for wieners think about wieners they can change your life. No don't think about that. Buy them! Bypass the other wieners by surefire wieners! I bid you all a good night!"

Nano 2012: Top Dog, Chapter Ten

Hello, hello Blog Fans

It's an exciting day in the world of writing and blogging and what not. Well, it is for me anyway. Today, I reached 50K in my Nano 2012 novel! Yea! However, this does not mean that Top Dog is complete...no! no! We've a long way to go before that happens. I'd say I have at least 10K to go before the epic conclusion followed by whole whack of editing.

And so, in order to ensure that I fully complete this Nano project, I am going to have "Wiener Wednesdays!" on this blog. Every Wednesday until Top Dog completed to my satisfaction, I will post an edited chapter. This could go on for many weeks. I can feel your excitement. It's intoxicating.

Today, as a special treat, I'm posting Chapter Ten and Chapter Eleven. I'll post them separately as to not overwhelm you.

And if I get my butt in gear, later this evening, there could be a bonus feature for Chapter Eleven. Oh yes, the second promised video as part of the soundtrack of my Nano 2012 Story.

So, before I drift off into a tangent...which, if you know me, is entirely possible, I'll post Chapter Ten, quickly followed by Chapter Eleven!

Happy Reading!

Cin

***

Chapter Ten

Ok...Ok...we've enjoyed our drinks and against my better judgment, I've led you back to the book. Look, here we are at Chapter Ten. Isn't that nice? There's nothing to be scared of. I'm pretty sure that this chapter, featuring a whole lot of Hal Leisure waxing about the wonder that is his wieners, is worth reading. I'll just be out of sight, hovering in the margins, ready to come back into the story when you need me.

No, no... Don't follow me. See, come on , look over there; Hal is still on stage. He waited for you to come back to the story. Now wasn't that good of him? To wait until you'd returned to start his speech? Obviously he didn't want you to miss one bit of it. Now, you enjoy this. I'll be back soon...or in a while. How long I'm gone will really depend on how long it takes Hal to get us to the next major plot point.

"Hello everyone and welcome, welcome to the Annual Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners Parade. Yes, please, clap and cheer all you want for it is grand day and a big event in Blue Sky. Or not...ok, you're all busy with both hands...However, since technically the parade is all done I suppose I should say picnic and/ or barbeque with a side of hot music! I imagine that not one of you here can say that we have not had an excellent representation by all bands on how the love of wieners can affect your soul!

But, back to the floats! As always, we watched the floats travel down Main Street and as part of the grand tradition of the Annual Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners Parade we destroyed the floats as soon as they arrived here at Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners. But as you can see, my Meaty Members have cleared those skeletal eye sores so that we can have space to eat, drink, be merry and listen to the songs being offered up by a few very talented local bands. And the best part about taking from the floats, the wares offered by the people who run businesses in Blue Sky, is that unlike when one of you rascals out there shop lifts, nobody is angry. They wanted us to destroy their floats! That's all part of the frivolity at the Annual Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wiener parade; to watch the floats, destroy the floats and then enjoy the picnic and /or barbeque food or beverage items that we pillaged from the floats at the picnic and /or barbeque. It's a marvelous tradition that I came up with and all a part this fantastic day.

However, before we all wreaked havoc on those floats, they sure looked lovely didn't they? Please, if you would, give all the business owners who put a float in this year's Annual Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners Parade a hand! Come on Blue Sky folk, you can clap louder than that can't you? Okay, maybe not. I see that most of you have at least one hand holding something that you ripped off one of the floats and so it's a bit hard to clap loudly when you're say, holding one of Andre's buns that you will use as a vessel sooner or later for a delicious Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wiener. And I see a lot of you are enjoying our new Family Time French Fries as well as a Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wiener and that's fantastic. It really warms my heart that you've taken to these French fries, our newest product from Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners.

Now, as many of you can see I am holding a guitar and yes, I am going to perform my very own tribute to Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners for you very soon. Not that I expect my song to go over as well as all those other wonderful songs that we have heard here today. Were they not brilliant? Did you ever think that you would hear so many great songs about wieners in one sitting? Do I hear any applause? No? Okay, again I see that your hands are still full with many of the delicious products from the floats that represent many of the businesses in our wonderful town of Blue Sky. However, when you're ready if you could just start clapping, it would be much appreciated. The bands and their songs deserve the applause as do the business owners and their floats. Remember, you destroyed them —the floats, not the businesses ( I assume) and a little action with two hands is the least you can do to say thank-you to them for the hard work they put in to making these floats and for the fine services they provide your town of Blue Sky all year.

Ok, I hear some applause, finally! Driving home a point with a little repetition gets everyone on board for the guilt trip! Thanks, Blue Sky; the bands and the businesses have heard your applause and I can feel not just appreciation, but the love.

Anyway, to get back to my point, as I was saying I to have my own song to contribute to this wonderful celebratory and very musical afternoon but first, I wanted to let everyone in on some really beautiful and attention worthy news. I would like to let you know that thanks to you, the people of Blue Sky, and thanks to all of the people across our superb country who have taken the time to buy and enjoy our brand new product Family Time French Fries—Oh wow...I promised myself that I was going to try to keep it together, but...I don't think it's going to be possible. I'm sorry, you're going to have to excuse me; this announcement is making me rather emotional because I'm just so proud! See? See these tears shining in my honest eyes, but not turning my ever present smile into a frown? These are tears of joy! Pure, radiant, glorious and super bright joy! People of Blue Sky, even though Family Time French Fries have only been available for retail purchase in grocery stores in Blue Sky and grocery stores across our superb country for just under three weeks, Family Time French Fries are the number one selling French fry in Blue Sky and all across this superb country! Number One! Isn't that wonderful news? Doesn't your heart just want to leap out of your chest and do a Blue Sky pride dance? Come on now people please get on board with the happy. I'm not going to stand here and listen to you not clap. Just tuck your beer between your knees you shove that hotdog in your mouth and bring both your hands to chest level and clap those beautiful hands. No, no! Don't you try to clap with one hand or use your free hand to beat your husband on the back in order to try to make a noise that sort of sounds like clapping! Number one French Fries in all of this superb country Blue Sky! This is big news, great news and I want to hear those two bare hands clapping. Finally! I mean, excellent! Lovely to see most of you, well half of you… Okay let's rounded up to a quarter of you have listened to my begging cries for approval and clapped your hands for a little while. Yes, a few more of you have joined in and I can hear you. I can hear your applause for being Number One and it's beautiful! It's beautiful music to my ears.

And now, don't put your clapping hands away. I have one more announcement to make before we get back to the music. I would just like to let you all know that thanks to the popularity of Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners in Blue Sky, most of you have great teeth. It is wonderful that so many of you who buy Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners with their free pack of floss actually use the floss provided. So, I am happy to say that not only are Family Time French Fries the number one selling French fry in Blue Sky and across our superb country but, I have also been told by the great people who make up my Meaty Members that we have one of the highest ratings of healthy smiles in our superb country! That's right people! Because you floss regularly, thanks to all the ah...meat in Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners, our dentists live a life of leisure! They have more time to play golf and...do whatever ever else dentists do in their spare time, because they spend less time cleaning our teeth. I think that is a win, win situation and it is definitely news worthy and so if you could clap again like I asked you to —okay I see that you are not willing clap again at this time. For whatever reason, you're not really going to make the effort to clap and that's okay. I can only assume your hands tired from clapping at along with all those wiener songs or clapping after the wiener songs. Basically, it would appear that, Blue Sky, you are all clapped out right now, but I really hope to see you all get a case of clap again after I finish my song.

Yes well, that is enough of my rambling, well my speech rambling anyway, and now I'd like to share with you song I wrote about Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners and Family Time French Fries."

Meaty Members are you ready? Stu, do you have your dulcimer in tune? Super! Let's entertain!

Have you ever had a dream

That only you believed would come true?

Have you ever had an idea so crazy

That more than once

You've had people in white coats

Chase you down and try to drag you away

While they threatened to put you in a padded room

With guards posted outside your door twenty-four hours a day

Simply because you dared to dream so crazy?

I'm going to interrupt my song, Blue Sky, but don't worry; this is a musical interruption. My Meaty Members will continue to play their instruments in a gentle, soft, whimsical manner while I talk. Before I continue on with my song, I wanted to say that I wish that the first verse of my song was not truth. I wish that I had been singing metaphorically, but I can't and I didn't because the first verse is a true representation of what happened to me!

Not long after I moved to Blue Sky, I went to a town meeting and sprung on the unsuspecting crowd my idea of starting a wiener company in Blue Sky. People at the meeting were so shocked by my Avant guard idea that they scoffed at me; most loudly if I recall. I was actually quite taken aback, but I didn't let that scoff thwart me. No, I took a deep breath and continued anyway! When I let lose my plan to make wieners so meaty the people of Blue Sky would need to floss after every Meaty Wiener meal, the people at that meeting got really quiet...it was a silence that was almost worse than the scoff noise because it was not the sound of quiet awe, but of loud and yet quiet suspicion. It was actually quite tense for a few seconds, but again...I just let it slide and continued to lay my plan at their feet! I jumped up onto my chair and said that because I loved Blue Sky and it's people so much and because I cared an incredible amount about dental care that, that I intended to give away a free pack of floss with every back of my Meaty Wieners! This proclamation almost raised the roof in a calamitation kind of way! I started to fear for my life! Yes, people were still quiet, but the silence was almost deadly. It was only when I revealed that this floss plan was to be exclusive only to the people of Blue Sky that the people at that town meeting began to get on board my wiener train and make a little noise. Yes, they liked the idea that the floss would exclusive. They would be special. It would be because Blue Sky would be in the same town as, and this is when I hit them with the name of my proposed company, Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners!

At first, the crowd was confused. They treated me with incredulity usually reserved for vicious dictators. However, they really couldn't stop my from opening the wiener factory because I'd already bought it and hired my staff and most people in Blue Sky just accepted my company and my plan. But, there were people who were not happy with my plan. People came at me from alleyways, from the sewers, from behind trees in my yard, people all wearing white coats and masks and yelling that my crazy idea of the wiener and floss combination would never work in Blue Sky because nobody anywhere cares about flossing. 'Nobody cares about flossing!' is what these white coated strangers hollered at me from alleyways, from sewers and from behind trees in my yard. 'Just sell regular wieners and leave the flossing to the professionals!' was their cry. But did this stop this man? No!

This man knew his mission true

It was as clear as a bright blue sky

And although the town didn't want or understand the floss at first

They all changed their minds as soon as they did try



Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners

They're chock right full of ah… Meaty goodness

Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners

The floss we provide makes you say ahh.... Thank goodness

There's so much ah... Meet

To get stuck in your teeth

The floss with our wieners

Why it spells relief yeah

Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners

The ah... Meatiest wieners around

That's right folks, Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners are the meatiest wieners around and you ate them up with gusto. You embraced the floss and many of you have woven Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners into the very fabric of your lives. I know there are families out there who don't celebrate a special occasion whether it is a birthday, a graduation, a parole hearing party, without Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners. I know there are some families here in Blue Sky and I'm assuming elsewhere in this superb country that have a night of the week featuring Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners! And that just makes me sing...soon. I'll get back to my song soon. I've got one more things to say before I start crooning again so just continue to listen to my speech backed by my Meaty Members.

Now, I couldn't be happier about the success of Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners and again, I am very pleased that many of you have woven Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners into the very fabric of your lives. However, I have to say that some of you have done so a little too literally, if I'm to be honest. A few years back, I saw one man wearing a Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners leisure suit. He approached me in a manner that implied gusto and with a winning smile spread across his face he told me that he was trying to be like me. He said I stood for all that was creative and stylish and that I had all the charisma and seductive charm that every man should want. His sincerity was intense.

And his suit, while it was impressive, was slightly grotesque and odd. It wasn't just the fact that this man had made a leisure suit out of Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners, it was the fact that he had even gone as far as to paint the wieners that made up his suit a beautiful sky blue; the same sky blue in fact as my leisure suit that is not, just to be clear, made of Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners. No, it's made up of 100% of those durable and dangerously flammable girls, Polly and Ester! However, not as flammable as that man's Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wiener leisure suit turned out to be. As we stood there in the park, in the hot noon day summer sun, the man's leisure suit started to cook. One minute he was just a guy standing there in a slightly smoking, sky blue Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wiener leisure suit and the next minute he was a light and on fire much like Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wiener at a picnic and/ or barbeque! It was a frightening sight! I encouraged him to throw himself on the grass and to roll around to douse out the flames. Thank goodness he listened and threw himself to the ground with very little encouragement. If he had hesitated, I wouldn't have been unable to do little else for while Poly and Ester look good on me, they don't look good melting on me. A little too close to those flames and I would have turned into 'Hal Leisure: a man who is covered in a sky blue leisure suit' instead of 'Hal Leisure: proud owner and wearer of many sky blue leisure suits.

So, as I was saying, this man, threw his cooking form onto the grass with all due haste, extinguishing the flames in a successful manner. However, the smell of his cooked Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wiener leisure suit caught the attention of a crowd of hungry picnickers and a pack of wild dogs. The man, scorched and probably in a bit of pain, was forced to run away from the hungry picnickers and the pack wild dogs. They, the humans and canines, chased this poor burned man around the park in a way that was, I'm almost ashamed to say, comical. Once they caught up with him, they knocked him to the ground and pulled, or tore or chewed the roasted Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners leisure suit from his body. The man quickly went from an odd chap in a sky blue Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners leisure suit to a strange Blue Sky resident clad only in his birthday suit. It was a memorable day and may I say, what a day to be alive.

Before I arrived in Blue Sky

I was a stranger to you all

Now, none of you knew me, Hal Leisure

It seems out of clear blue sky I did fall

Now some of you think my past is shady

You wanted to find out my past, you did try!

Yes...I've heard the rumors people! Don't you think I haven't! However, if my past was really super shady, do you really think I could have married your local beauty queen? Well, of course, I have a sneaking suspicion that she may have married me because I am disgustingly rich, but that's just me being negative. Let me see a show of hands from those of you who can't believe that I'm still married to my absurdly beautiful Blue Sky wife? Wow...all of you? That's interesting and a little unnerving...

Yes, some of you think I'm hiding a deep, dark past

And you want to know where I'm from and why?

Why did I come to Blue Sky?

To tell you the truth Blue Sky, I don't know why I've kept the truth from you for so long. It's not a horrible, tragic secret that drove me from my home town to your loving Blue Sky arms. It's just, well... Oh heck! Now seems like as good as time as any! I'm going to go for it and tell all you good people of Blue Sky the truth about my past. Here I go! Before I moved to your beautiful town of Blue Sky, I, Hal Leisure lived in another town in the superb country and that town was—

We love surefire wieners!

We love surefire wieners!

We love surefire wieners!

What is that noise? Who is interrupting my heartfelt song...ok; not the song, but one of my talking bits that I feel help accentuate the song? And it's not just interrupting my performance, it's right while I am about to reveal to you, the Wonderful people in Blue Sky, exactly who Hal Leisure is and where I came from

We love surefire wieners!

We love surefire wieners!

We love surefire wieners!

Good people, what is that I see and hear coming down Main Street? Is that another float? Perhaps a late to our Annual Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners Parade? Well, whatever it is, it sounds very musical to me. Meaty Members, were we supposed to have a float from Blue Sky's local music store "Take a Note?" I don't think we were? I am pretty sure that at last week's meeting about the Annual Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wiener Parade we agreed that if the local Blue Sky business didn't have a product that the people of Blue Sky could pilfer from the float and then throw on a barbecue or just eat as is then unfortunately the businesses would not allowed to be part of the Annual Meaty Teeth Leisure Wieners Parade.

We love Surefyre Wieners!

We love Surefyre Wieners!

We love Surefyre Wieners!

My stars they are loud and not stopping! Yes, Meaty Members I know our decision was a tough call and maybe the music store "Take a Note" didn't fully understand the rules, but I had to draw the line somewhere. Yes, I know you can enjoy music at a picnic and /or barbeque, but people are just so darn excited and brimming with anticipation for float carnage that by the time all the floats arrive here at Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners the usually tame people of Blue Sky are ready to tear almost anything apart and throw whatever item they have clenched in their hands on a barbecue! If we allowed a float from a music store into the Annual Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners Parade I would honestly worry that the people of Blue Sky would tear off instruments or sheet music or the staff or whatever they music store had decided to decorate their float with and throw those items or people on a barbeque. Sheet music, you have to agree, is extremely flammable and we would quickly have a sheet music bonfire on our hands. No, having floats in our Annual Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners Parade that do not offer products we can eat or drink would be adding too great an element of risk to the festivities. It would be inviting chaos to our family friendly, well family friendly-ish picnic and/or barbeque. Let's be honest, eventually most of the good folk in Blue Sky get sauced beyond all reason at this event and some years their behavior has gotten within a few degrees of debaucherous and—

We love Surefyre Wieners!

We love Surefyre Wieners!

We love Surefyre Wieners!

They're still coming this way! Oh, here they are; they've just passed through the gates of Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners. What are they saying exactly? Excuse me! Excuse me musical float! While I, Hal Leisure and all of us here appreciate that you are all very musical and on some level entertaining, your float is not one that is a food or beverage themed float and you are breaking all the rules of this Annual Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners Parade. I'm sorry, but you just can't be here. Now, now...calm down everyone. It is not that Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners does not appreciate businesses in Blue Sky that don't sell things that you don't normally enjoy at a picnic. I am not contradicting myself. I already explained why having a float form a music store would be bad news for our picnic and /or barbeque. Yes, I know this picnic and /or barbecue is not just about food and drink, or just drink for some of you, but you also feel that it is about music because we have bands to entertain you, but that's different. The bands didn't arrive on a float. Look, good people of Blue Sky, who are paying more attention to the newly arrived float than you are to me, if we allowed the music store 'Take a Note" to have a float in the Annual Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners Parade, we may as well allow the Blue Sky furniture store or the paint store or even the pet store to have a float in the parade but that wouldn't be right. There would end up being too many floats in the Annual Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners Parade and as far as I'm concerned too many floats equals and too much confusion. I think it would be especially confusing, not to mention grizzly if the pet store participated in our Annual Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners Parade because they would probably cover the float with lizards and other sorts of creatures that some of you people care for, but make my skin crawl, and then all the dogs on the float would jump off and eat all the food from the other floats and it would just be madness! So, in order to keep the precedence, I'm sorry but I think you and your musical float are going to have to leave—

We love Surefyre Wieners!

We love Surefyre Wieners!

We love Surefyre Wieners!

Please everyone, just stay calm... Please, could I have your attention turned back on me please? Back to me? Back to me? I still haven't finished my song. Doesn't anybody care about my song? I've been working on it for quite some time and I was about to let you in my secret past and—yes I know it's a loud float, a very loud and musical float, but that doesn't mean that you all need to stop paying attention to my song and pay attention to this—ok, ok—apparently it does mean that. Well...I guess I'll finish singing it after they leave! But folks! Blue Sky folks! This, float...I don't recognize anyone on it! Do any of you recognize anyone one on it? I don't think it actually represents a Blue Sky business! No, it certainly does not! It's too loud and garish to be a Blue Sky float— Ok, it's fully arrived and is flaunting about! It is – well, that is just perfect, I don't really mean perfect. I'm slipping into sarcasm which is definitely a prelude to my smile slipping into a frown! Isn't that a horrible thought? Don't any of you – oh that is just lovely. This new and hideously large and excessively loud float is parking right in the middle of the picnic and or/barbeque area! Well that is just rude! Excuse me, new and hideously large and excessively loud float, where are the people of Blue Sky supposed to sit to enjoy their picnic and /or barbeque products and properly listen and pay attention to the music on this stage! Blue Sky, why have you all stopped paying attention to me! What is happening? What is this madness! I need answers! I hate to tell you this people but my smile is definitely slipping off my face. Surely none of you want to see Hal Leisure, good man, good citizen, provider to your town other towns in this superb county of the quality products Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wiener and Family Time French Fries, surely you don't want to see this face slide into a frown?

We love Surefyre Wieners!

We love Surefyre Wieners!

We love Surefyre Wieners!

For the love of all that is holy, what are you saying? What is that racket you are bellowing forth at volume of at least 11? We love Surefyre what? Ok, I'm putting my foot down Blue Sky. I've had enough of this rude, insolent and uncouth interruption of our Annual Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners parade and picnic and /or barbeque! I'm going to put a stop to this pronto!

Excuse me, sir! Yes, you on the large and excessively loud float that has parked at my company Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners without a permit! Could you please stop your screeching? You seem to be whipping this crowd into some kind of frenzy bordering on turmoil! By turning their backs on me and effectively ignoring me, they have also turned their backs on the talented local bands that we have brought here today to be part of our festivities. You and your gigantic and ridiculous float have brought disorder to our picnic and/or barbeque and the people of Blue Sky have turned their backs on us in shockingly seem to be favoring you and your hollering! I said listen to me screaming stranger in the fairly fine red suit but without an abundantly lush mustache...oh my...it's the investor! I can't believe it! It's you! You're here! The mysterious and then suddenly disappearing investor!"

"Wrong Hal Leisure! Well, you are not entirely wrong! You are wrong in that I'm not the investor, but was merely posing as one to gather information, but you are right in that I am mysterious and with my many qualities, both known and unknown to you, I am going to make all your business disappear! It is I, Sherman Fyre and I'm here to rock the bedrock of Blue Sky! I'm here to shake the clouds from the blue sky of Blue Sky! I'm here to change the way that you, the people of Blue Sky, think about wieners! Move over Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners! There's a new wiener company in town and we don't play well with others!

Blue Sky, say afscheid to Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners and begroeting to Surefyre Wieners!"