Hey Blog Fans
I hope you all had a lovely Christmas. We sure did. It was just the 3 of us this year, which was new. Sean and I have never had a Christmas in our 11 years of marriage, let alone since Sorcha was born, that wasn't with people other then ourselves. Every year we've gone somewhere or had people come to us which has always been lovely, don't get me wrong, and perhaps, it's selfish to have enjoyed it being just the 3 of us, but that's the way it went this year. We ate lots, and got spoiled by various family member. In the middle of opening presents Sorcha said "I'm getting spoiled here!" We are very thankful and look forward to Christmas with family next year, but probably will do this kind of Christmas every few years.
But that's not why I'm writing this particular blog entry. I'm writing for another reason. There's a picture of me posted on facebook right now that disturbs me. I'm not upset it's there. The girl who posted it posted it because her Uncle is in the picture and I just happen to be in it as well. I'm not tagged and she probably doesn't know my name. What disturbs me is how I'm sitting, my posture. It's summer and I'm wearing a fairly tight fitting tank top and shorts. I'm smiling, but my body language says that I'm not truly happy. My legs are crossed tightly, one of my hands in across my chest and clutching my neck and the other arm in draped across my stomach. I look as though I'm trying to cover myself up, to hide all the flaws about myself that I feel are there. I look as though I would turn myself into a little ball if I had that strange ability. However, I know why I'm sitting that way. I don't like my legs, so I cross them to hide them as best I can. My hand is below my neck to hide part of my upper chest because I feel that my shirt is too low. And my arm is draped across my stomach to cover any roll that may or may not be there because I've never achieved a perfectly flat stomach. (which really isn't a goal for me, but I'm still self concious about it which I know is pure silliness,but there you go.) I am not happy with body and this picture tells that story louder then I usually proclaim to anyone. Why am I a writing about this? I guess because I'm tired of feeling this way and this picture is a wake up call. (sorry for going all Dr. Phil on you). I'm not hideous, I have nothing to hide and people are too busy with their own insecurities to be worrying about my legs. And if they are worried about them...well, that's their business. I just hope they don't tell me. :)
But let's end this post on a silly note. Last night during Christmas dinner while drinking a lovely glass of wine I was proposing a few toasts when an extremely bizarre thought popped into my mind. I will share it with you to ponder...When toast sits around with friends and family and shares in a bottle of wine, do they propose a person?
Food for thought is it not?
Until next time, continued Happy Holidays!