This One's for Maxx

Imagine this: It's a cold winter morning and as you pull into your parking spot behind the shop where you work, your mind is full of worries about things that haven't happened and guilt over things that have. You open the back door, stomp the snow off your boots and as you wonder how long it's going to take to shake your sour mood away, you hear the sound  of feet on the floor in front of you. Soon after feel a nose press against your hand followed by a head that wants to be petted. You look down and smile at your co-worker.

You look down and smile at Maxx.

Or at least, for many of my days at Saltwater Sounds, this is how my day would begin. In October, 2008 I was given the gift of minding one of the most unique stores in Miramichi and awarded the privilege of working with one of the most loved dogs in town.

For those of you who know Maxx, you will know that I am talking about "the doggy in window", the beautiful, kind hearted, gentle Boxer; the dog who kept vigil in the store window of Saltwater Sounds for over 10 years; Maxx, who was more than just a dog. She was the heart  and joy of the shop until her passing in mid-April.

Her sweet face gazing out at Water Street stopped many in their tracks. Dogs are not uncommon in Miramichi, but a dog sleeping in a comfy bed in the window, sometimes staying as still as statue would cause people to slow down and not be in such a hurry. They would stop, sometimes tap on the glass, and smile as she looked back at them with her gentle expression. Sometimes she would be mid-nap and the surprise of the stranger finding a dog in a place they didn't expect, would go peacefully unnoticed.

"Look a dog!"

"Is it real?"

"Say hi to the doggie!"

Every day as I sat in Saltwater Sounds, I would hear these sentences and more. However, for some people, just looking at Maxx through the window simply wasn't enough. The person, or people who could not allow themselves to walk by without actually meeting the dog in the window, would come into the shop to see her. Maxx, more often than not, would immediately jump up, stretch in her bed and wag her wee tail in pure joy as she made another friend.

People loved Maxx as much as she loved them. She was the perfect dog. Sweet, kind, gentle with children, attentive to those who really wanted her attention and for those people who came into the store who were not really dog people, she would give them a sniff and the give them space. She could read people. I suppose a lot of dogs can, but with Maxx she always seemed extra in tune to the feelings of people around her. 

There are people in town or people who visit Miramichi every year who don't pass by Saltwater Sounds without coming by to hello to Maxx. She was the lucky recipient of many dog treats. She always returned the gifts with a heavy lean on the givers legs and a panting grin when they gave her what she really wanted: a really good scratch on her back.

When some people left the shop, they would sign our guest book. Phrases such as "Lovely dog!" or "It was nice to meet Maxx." grace the pages. 

While I worked with Maxx I saw many people who were sad when they came into the store leave a little happier after a visit with Maxx. I've had people come into the shop specifically because they were down and wanted a little Maxx time. 

Maxx's passing is not easy for those of us who knew her best and from the comments on various social media sites and visits to Saltwater Sounds to give condolences it is obvious that Maxx's passing is being felt beyond the shop, beyond the window.

In the window where Maxx took thousands of naps, there is now a picture. It is a beautiful picture of her, one that captures her gentle spirit and her sweet face to perfection.  She will be greatly missed because, as I said, she was so much more than just a dog. Like the shop she graced her presence with she was unique, comforting and made you feel at home.

She was special.

She was Maxx.

-

Cin

This One's for Wendy

Greetings!

This morning, while Sorcha was getting ready for school, I gave her a hug and noticed something different…something I could no longer do. For a long time, when she would run up to me for a snuggle, as she leaned on my shoulder, I would bend my head sideways and lean on her head.  Eventually the “lean” turned into a “rest”. She would run up to me, the hug would begin and since her head came to just below my chin, I would simply rest my head on her head looking forward.

However, this morning while mid hug, I realized while resting on her head, I was looking up and not forward.  I was taken aback! Suddenly, out of nowhere, my little one had become too tall to be a head rest.  She is no longer a head shorter than me—it appears she has quietly snuck into the area of, when it comes to growing taller, catching up. Soon, we will be eye to eye and some day, I just know it, I will become her head rest as I lean on her shoulder.

This isn’t so bad really; Sorcha won’t be the last person to treat my head as a perch for her chin and she certainly isn’t the first, which brings us to the person in the title of this blog entry.

When, not that many moons ago, Sorcha fit under my chin, I told her a couple times, that the height difference between my friend Wendy and I, when we were kids, was a head difference and Wendy would often come up behind me and use me as a head rest.  I remember finding it amusing as my lack of height never really bothered me and I was happy to help with the resting of her head. To me it was sweet and showed the world that we were friends.

Wendy and I met over 30 years ago back in grade 3. She was shy, shyer than I was, and I longed to be her get to know her. She seemed interesting and smart, both traits that turned out to be true.  I’m not sure if it started in grade 3 or if it wasn’t until grade 4, but eventually we started walking halfway home together. We would walk with each other until we reached Aldene Ave, remembering every day to shake hands for luck. (You see, Wendy had been attacked by a big dog at some point, on that street and we figured a “you’ll make it past the dog” handshake would ensure safety. She never got attacked after our handshakes started so I’m thinking it worked. )

For a few years, we were what you would call “school friends” meaning we just hung out together, although not exclusively, at school.  It wasn’t until the summer going into grade 7 that we started to hang out together outside of school. It was a big step in our friendship and with it came sleepovers, cookie making (along with exploding blenders if I recall), Froggie’s Diner and recording ourselves on tape pretending to interview famous people.

We went through a lot together. Wendy was the first person I confessed my love of Michael J. Fox to. (It may not seem like a big deal to you, but to me it was huge!) She and I went to camp T-Bird together and were “Wild Outposts” for two weeks.  I stayed with her and her family while my parents headed to Ottawa to find a house and she was with me when I said goodbye to my cat Rocky before we left Victoria.

During my 4 years in Ottawa she was…let’s face it…the unfortunate recipient of my longest, most tedious, poorly written, letters.  When we returned to Victoria, I had assumed we would be going to university together, but Wendy had decided that SFU, not UVic would be her university of choice; a decision that crushed me at first, but later came to an eye opening experience for both of us. My many travels to Vancouver to visit Wendy changed my life forever. They enabled me to see life beyond Vancouver Island and forced me to live outside my comfort zone. It gave me courage to realize what I wanted out of life and move on to new things.

In October 1997, at my wedding in Ottawa, Wendy (along with a few other very good friends) stood as witness to my marriage to Sean. In October 2001, she held my baby Sorcha and in December 2002 I held her first daughter (after politely turning down the offer to look at the photos of her daughter’s birth).  The miracle of life in my arms, the good friend in the bed in front of me, our spouses at our sides, smiles on our faces;  I marveled at how far we’d come, at how much we’d grown up and changed and been through. We had taken very different roads to get to that moment, but through it all we were still friends.

There’s so much more I could write, but that’s true of anyone who has been a friend with someone for as long as Wendy and I have been friends. I’m not saying it’s all been rosy.  We’ve had our ups and downs, but the fact that we are still friends shows that the core of our friendship, the seed that started it all, still remains.

Wendy, I wish you a very happy birthday. I hope that you have a good year, the last of your (and mine!) thirties, and I thank you for being my friend.

Cin

A Little bit of "Defining Love" by Ms. Lee

Hello Everyone

And Welcome to a little clip from the lecture "Defining Love".  


I had my lovely assistant SAR film this, the introduction to my lecture, for those of you who were unable to attend the fundraiser for Hospice Miramichi at the Rodd Miramichi River. Or, if you would like to see me, Ms. Lee, in action one more time, this video is for you too.


I am happy to report that the evening, "A Taste of Chocolate" for Hospice Miramichi was a wonderful, moving and successful event. We were sold out and even though the weather was against us, most people who bought tickets drove in the foul weather to attend the fundraiser. 


Thank-you to everyone who purchased tickets and/or donated money to Hospice Mirmaichi. Your support for this much needed cause continues to be inspiring.


Enjoy the clip!


Love and Laughter,


Ms.Lee

 
 

“Defining Love”: The Column, Day 8

By Ms. Lee, Sponsored By The Ramblin’ Rule
Hello my dears.  I am back.  I hope you didn’t miss my insights too much in the two days I was absent from your lives. Day 6 and Day 7 passed by in a haze of “so much to do” and I’m afraid I was not able to find the time to put hands to keyboard.
But I must confess the lack of time was not our only enemy, for much like that famous Def Leppard Song “Love Bites” tendonitis in one’s hands does too bite.  And while the words may run almost constantly from my brain to my fingers and wait patiently for the tap of pain to be turned off long enough for me to bring you my quirky views on love to the page, the phrase “You need to rest your hands” uttered by my very kind Occupational Therapist, will flash before my eyes and force me to heed her advice; the column and the words, reluctantly, are set aside for another day. (And she’s right; I really do need to rest my hands more!)
What am I trying to say? I think we all know…I think stalling will only make it worse. As you have probably already guessed from my two day absence, I will have to continue not writing a daily love quote breakdown column for you my dears. Last weekend, in a fit of ambition, I said “Daily! Until the play “Defining Love” debuts at the Rodd Miramichi on February, 11th for the Hospice Miramichi Fundraiser!”  I hate to admit that I spoke too soon, but it is true. I will be unable to do so.
However, this is not the end. I will return when I can, when the hot pain of my thumbs takes a break for a while, and bring you a bit of insight to a few of the world’s most famous love quotes.  In the meantime, if there is a love quote that has been travelling through your brain trying to find itself a meaning, and you’d like some help, just drop it in the comment box of this, or one of my other columns, and much like the love that leaves one, but is meant to be and returns, the comment will find its way to me.
On that note, my patient readers, I would like to end today’s column, with not a famous love quote, but still, a famous quote, one that we all know: “Parting is such sweet sorrow”.
Sweet because the anticipation of returning to you with insight that could change the way you look at love is divine.  And the sorrow, well, sorrow is for the bruise on my soul at the loss of not being able to bring life changing advice to you all as often as I’d like to.  It hurts, more than I can put into words, but not as much as my hands.
Until next time, take solace that my public appearance at “A Taste of Chocolate” will in no way be hindered by the inconvenience of aching limbs.
http://www.miramichionline.com/miramichi-ae-miramichi-hospice-fundraiser-will-cure-that-sweet-tooth
Hopes to you for a lovely weekend,
Ms. Lee

“Defining Love”: The Column, Day 5

By Ms. Lee, Sponsored By The Ramblin’ Rule

Hello all and welcome to day 5 of my love quote breakdown natterings.  I’m just waiting for my assistant to bring me her idea for today’s quote. Ah…here is she.
Really? This is what you think I should write about today?
“Your heart is my piñata”?
Well…ok…is this from something?  Chuck Palahniuk? The fellow who wrote “Fight Club”?
Hmm…I hope my assistant is not setting me up for a lawsuit and that the rules about fight club and their nonverbal agreements surrounding said club don’t apply to “love quotes”  by Mr. Palahniuk that can be found on the internet.
I need a few moments to think on this rather aggressive love quote.  Or perhaps I’m judging too quickly. The quote could be fluffy and light. It could mean that he would like to fill her heart, metaphorically, I hope, with sweets, fill it to the point of ridiculousness.  He would like his love to have a heart so candied that she will feel nothing but joy and saturated, syrupy happiness.  This confection coated heart will serve her well.  She will feel no pain at all, only her heart strings being pulled like saltwater taffy after she catches him with another girl and he gently explains to her that he is the kind of man that needs to be with more than one woman.
“Oh, I understand.” She’ll giggle, her candy heart beating too fast and loud to grasp the fact that she’s just accepted that her man cheats on her.
“I knew you would understand, because you’re just so sweet.” He’ll croon, as he runs his fingers through her cotton candy hair.
This could be one way of looking at this love quote.  I know you may be thinking that I’ve take the metaphor too far and perhaps I have.  But I’m working on an arbitrary deadline here and I really have to put down whatever comes to mind.
However, I think we need to examine what the meaning of this quote really is; he had rotten birthday parties as a child.
I know, from personal experience, nothing can be quite as exhilarating as taking a stick to a cardboard cartoon character and sending its contents and tissue papered exterior all over the floor. I also know that to be the child who has to watch the treats spill before she’s taken a baton to the candy housing creature, can be deflating.  The intense moment of taking a swing and a miss or even just grazing the piñata as you run frantically in the wrong direction because you are blind folded is a moment not easily replicated in life.  How often, as a child, will an adult give you a stick and purposely let you hit something with it? Not often and so if you miss your opportunity for violence in the name of birthday party shenanigans, your heart breaks a little.
It is in my “professional opinion” Mr. Palahniuk use of a heart = piñata metaphor can only mean one thing. I believe that there is a good chance that when he was a child, at all the birthday parties that were held in his honour, or that he attended where there was a piñata in the party game lineup, before he got a chance to bust open the donkey, or hippo that held the goods, a girl standing in the line ahead of him broke it open first.
So since then, this man, or perhaps it’s a “friend” he’s talking about, sees women as colourful, beautifully tissue papered piñatas he can fill to the brim with sweet nothings and then before they can say “Yea! Candy!” he leaves them broken hearted.
“In your face Donkey Pinata!” he screams to the heavens as he races away from the latest girl who sheds gum drop tears at his rejection, the latest girl who represents all the girls who stood between him and birthday party fun.
To wrap up this bit of love quote break down nonsense, I feel I must, rework the quote in my own special way.
“Thanks to never getting my turn at the piñatas at birthday parties, always missing out on the first dive for the loot and later getting in trouble for trying to reassemble the piñata so that I could finally take a crack at it in a fit of blind, zany wildness…getting in trouble because the party was long over and the time for being allowed to hit things with sticks in the house was long past and this behavior was no longer acceptable… thanks to this, your sweet loveable heart is mine for the breaking.  But to cushion the blow, I actually will give you candy because I don’t want you telling all your friends that I’m a total slime.”
Join me and my co-stars Jason and Lisa as we take you through all the trials and tribulations of finding that someone special to share your life with, on February, 11 at 7pm at the Rodd Miramichi River.
http://www.miramichionline.com/hospice-miramichi-presents-a-taste-of-chocolate
Sweet Dreams to you all,
Ms. Lee

"Defining Love": The Column, Day 4

By Ms. Lee, Sponsored By The Ramblin’ Rule
Good-day online community, I have returned with another love quote breakdown.  Remember folks, if there’s a quote you’d like to me shine my insightful light on, just drop it in the comment box and I’ll be happy to see what I can do to take you through the murky water of obscurity and into the twinkling pool of knowledge.
Today, I’d like to look at the quote “If I love you, what business is it of yours”.
This quote can be looked at from a couple of different angles. If you look at in a negative way, you can believe that this person, the speaker of the quote is involved with someone, but wants to withhold very important information that could aid in the progression of the relationship.  Perhaps he is not ready for the level of commitment that often comes with uttering those three loaded words.  He is not ready to look at rings and table settings at Tiffany’s. He knows that if he holds his feelings, close to his chest, this action will guarantee keeping the relationship on a steady incline of “maybe”; a place some people are perfectly comfortable staying at for years.
Or perhaps it’s something more than not having reached the emotional maturity to say “I love you”. Perhaps his is a spy and if he confesses to that someone that he is feeling the love, he may as well hand that person a big list of “why a spy in love is bad for the country.” The spy knows he may have to jet to some foreign land and infiltrate a group of badies who are set on doing something really nasty to the world such as flooding all major department stores with straight to DVD movies that no one will ever buy.  This is pure evil and an evil that he will not be able to vanquish if he has love on his mind.  So, he will remain cold, distant, never confess his love for you and because you are drawn, for some reason , to his brooding, mysterious side, you’ll stay, just in case he opens up to you one day and admits that he has “nothing but love for you.”
Now, let’s look at this quote in a positive light.  If you are friends, really good friends with someone and you love that friend, I mean really LOVE that friend, but you know he doesn’t feel the same way, it’s probably for the best if you never admit these feeling to this friend, never make it his business.  When you let the “big three words” out of the bag, it changes everything and if you share the “I love you” with the good friend who “loves you like a friend…or a like the pet iguana he had a lot of fun with as a child”, things will never be the same. Those three words will hang in the space between you like an awful smell or a giant, dancing elephant you can’t see around.  The friendship most likely wouldn’t survive the “I love you” bombshell and even though you may feel that you should put your heart on the line so that you won’t look back on  this time in 50 years and regret that you never found out if the feelings were mutual, don’t talk about them.   Instead, lock those feelings away and keep the friendship because believe me, no one needs to hear “I love you like I  loved my pet iguana” from anyone.
Of course, these are only my opinions, only the advice of someone who really only exists on paper and is only an expert about love on the stage. You can ignore both views on this quote and confess love to whomever you wish.
However, I still feel compelled to put a twist on the quote to make my breakdown clear. So here it is.
“If I love you, it may be your business, but I may take up a life embroiled in espionage at some point in the next twenty or thirty years (you know, while I still have my health) and therefore I can’t let a pesky thing like love get in the way of potential high action chases on a not fully constructed office tower nor can I risk admitting ‘I love you’ to someone who may only love me as much as he loved his favourite hamster ‘Mr. Biscuits’ so really, it’s none of your business”.
Yes, I like that quote much better.
If you feel my insights are off today, I promise they will be spot on at the Hospice Miramichi Fundraiser on February, 11/12 at 7pm at the Rodd Miramichi River. My friends and I are looking forward to taking you through the love our ages in “Defining Love”: The Play.
http://www.miramichionline.com/hospice-miramichi-presents-a-taste-of-chocolate.
I remain as ever,
Ms. Lee

“Defining Love”: The Column, Day 3

By Ms. Lee, Sponsored By The Rambling Rule

Hello one and all. It is I, Ms. Lee, (of “Defining Love”: the play) once again using The Rambling Rule’s generously donated cyberspace to help you through the layered and sometimes contrived world of love quotes.
Today we are going to examine a few lines from a very popular love song from the 1991 movie, Robin Hood, starring the delightful Alan Rickman.
What?  Sorry, excuse me… I was just passed a note from my assistant…Kevin Costner was the star? Really?  Ok, well if you say so.  I really only remember the sheriff.
So to continue, I’d like to examine just four short lines from the very popular love song “(Everything I do) I do it for you” By Bryan Adams. This song really brings back some happy memories for me. A few minutes ago, when I sat down at my computer to start writing about today’s quote, I got carried away on a flashback tangent and recalled all the Friday nights I would go to my friend’s place, we’ll call her K, and we would watch this video over and over.  More specifically, we would watch a series of videos that K taped off of Much Music.  We would moon over specific guys (and their long hair…it was the tail and of the 80′s hair metal era after all) and giggle when they would look at “us” from their music set world.
“Oh! I love the look on his face when he does that thing with his hair!”
“Me too! Rewind it so we can watch it again!”
Yes, it was a sweet time.  As I was sitting here, not writing, I remembered that one our favourites videos on the tape was Mr.Big’s “Be with you”; a lovely, heartfelt ballad, with great guitar and harmony.  When I hear that song blasting from my alarm clock after the 6:30 news, I am taken back to those Friday nights. So of course, instead of getting down to the business of writing, I had to look up the video and sing along.  Then I wondered “What has Mr.Big been up to? Are they still around?” And I have good news: they are.  In October 2010, they rocked out in Japan and I can tell you that the lead singer can still belt out “Be with you” with all the intensity I remember from the video. However, there are two things that stand out about “Mr. Big” that I hadn’t noticed until today:
1.) The lead singer kind of looks like Bjork (you know, the famous Icelandic singer of the Swan Dress)
2.) The drummer is pretty hot.
But I digress. Let me get back to my professional self and work on breaking down a few of the lines from that Robin Hood love tune.
The lines I’d like to look at are:
There’s no love, like yo love
And no other, could give mo love
There’s nowhere, unless yo there
All the time, all the way, yeah.

When the mood strikes and my star sign is in the house of Saturn I have been known write a song or two and so I understand the desire to want to get just the right rhyme, but why did Bryan Adams write Yo love, Mo love? It’s a bizarre way to get a point across and not at all romantic!
Sorry, excuse me again…my assistant who is hovering over my shoulder and making sure I get this done before I go for coffee is passing me another note…
Really? The lyrics are not Yo and Mo? They are Your and More?  Well, that makes more sense!  So why didn’t he just say that? OH…he is…I’m hearing it wrong. Thank-you for the correction. I suppose then this means he’s say Your there and not Yo there? Ah ok…it’s just a problem with his annunciation… or my hearing. Oh dear, where is a towel to wipe the egg off my face?
Well, everyone is wrong from time to time, even me. Let us move on now.
The last line of this lyrical section that I’d like to examine is:  All the time, all the way, yeah.
You may be wondering what this line means and I wish that I had a clear way to break this down for you, but for the last 20 years, I have not been able to define the line to myself in a way that makes sense.  I understand the love; he loves her a lot, she returns the love in an appropriate manner that satisfies like no other, there’s no one else in the world like her, life is vague and empty, sort of a nowhere land when she’s not around, but what does the last line mean? Is she always around? All the time, all the way? Perhaps this means she’s in his way, all the time and although he’s got love for her, MO LOVE than he ever thought he could have for another, she’s becoming distracting. Yes, I think that’s exactly right.  I think I’ve finally cracked the code on this lyrical mystery.
Now to wrap up, let me see what spin I can put on this love quote, to make it even clearer to you all.
No one in the world loves me like you do
My life is an empty chasm of cold, inky darkness when you’re not around
And yet, at the same time, you’re always here and I could really use a little space
Yeah.
Thank-you for walking down memory lane with me.  I hope to see you all learning about love and its complexities at the Hospice Fundraiser at the Rodd on February 11 at 7pm.
http://www.miramichionline.com/hospice-miramichi-presents-a-taste-of-chocolate

Best wishes for a happy day,
Ms.Lee