Wednesday, January 23, 2008

A matter of Facial Importance

Sean comments on his facial hair a lot....I mean a lot! He strokes it often and asks my opinion about shaving and what not and threatens more often then I like that he may grow a mustache...gah... I try to be supportive..."Yes dear, it's very nice...perhaps a goatee...trim if you'd like...yadda yadda yadda..." And he then says something like "You don't care about my facial hair. You don't think about it as much as I do."

Well, for his birthday, I decided to make him feel like I care about his facial hair almost on the same intellectual level that he does and wrote him an Ode. I give you...

Ode To Sean's Beard!

Through darkness I traveled.
In search of light, in search of...understanding.
Behold! On the horizon!
Was it salvation I saw?
The darkness parted, like Moses parted the sea.
The gleaming light came slowly at first, but then came
brilliant and quick!
As if on the heels of Mercury himself!
It's brightness was almost unbearable to mine eyes, eyes that had lived
in obscurity for too long.

T'was it the sun you say? Yes and yet...Nay you fool!
It was HE! SEAN! The Sean of this...SEAN'S BEARD!
Bathed in the glow of his golden whiskers he stood smiling at the Sun
for the Sun shines to give light to his marvelous chin.
If it were not for this wonder, this... SEAN'S BEARD, the Sun would perish.
She would turn her face away from the world for if there is not this, this... SEAN'S BEARD
to shine up...what is her purpose?

With one hand on his hip, with his robes flying in the mighty breeze that surrounded him,
he stroked his prize this... SEAN'S BEARD, slowly, lovingly
as if to reassure face that it was well in derservance of this dazzling display of facial awe
this...SEAN'S BEARD.

Can this man, dare we say this God, can he think of nothing else except that
which grazes his face, this...SEAN'S BEARD?
Nay, for how can he?
These thoughts are for him like breathing.
It is something he must do.
With every though, he is wrapped in the manliness that is his,
this...SEAN'S BEARD.
And do not think that it is conceit for you too would do the same
if you too were in possession of a treasure such as this,
this...SEAN'S BEARD!

I felt as if I should turn if I was not worthy of such an experience as witnessing
this...this...SEAN'S BEARD.
But I could not!
To have done so would have been to rob my eyes of that which gave it sight,
to become blind!
For no other sight is worth beholding after gazing upon the mightiness that is this,
this...SEAN'S BEARD!

He turned to me and smiled; his glowing face a compliment to his confident grin and said
"I think I'll shave..."
And I, as if struck down by the Hammer of Thor, fell down at his feet and cried,
"NO! For the love of all that is holy! For the hope of all beings who desire to possess a
radiance such as yours, do not peirce my soul! Do not deprive the world of your
glorious golden bounty!

He laughed, his head back to the sky. "Oh you obedient servant to my facial prowess,
fear not!
I only mean to give it a trim, to keep the perfection that is,
that always will be
that the world will forever behold

Now never again can Sean say I don't care about his facial hair. Perhaps I care about it...too much.

'til we meet again,

Cinfully Silly

No comments: