And welcome to another Wiener Wednesday! I know you've all been waiting for this day, so I won't ramble long.
I know too that you're probably wondering how Brent Holland and his family are doing with the fact that the town of Blue Sky turning their back on Meathy Teeth's Leisure Wieners and if you have been wondering, you'll be happy to know that this week and next week I'm posting chapters filled with Holland Family Nonsense!
You enjoy these ramblings. I'm going to go do the dishes.
PS: please be warned that usually I have another set of eyes read over my chapters but as no one else is home and I really want to post this, you'll just have to deal with my super errors.
While Hal Leisure tried to reinstate his face from frown smile everybody else in town was whipped into a Surefyre frenzy. For the next few weeks Blue Sky was blanketed in Fyre, Surefyre that is; Surefyre Wieners is more to the point. It seems that the people of Blue Sky couldn't get enough of them. What's most interesting about this whole situation is that it's not as if Surefyre Wieners were never sold in stores in Blue Sky before now and wasn't as if nobody Blue Sky ever tried Surefyre Wieners before; the situation before this Surefyre Frenzy was that the majority of people in town were loyal to Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners and never gave Surefyre Wieners a second glance.
Now it was the opposite. The folks in Blue Sky now ignored Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners and the free floss that came with every pack. While I'm sure the Surefyre Wieners got stuck in their teeth too, they didn't seem to care. In grocery stores all over Blue Sky Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners and the floss started to crowd their storerooms. Rumor has it that after a couple weeks of dismal sales, the Blue Sky grocery stores stopped placing their regular orders for Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners. The store managers knew that right now, with everybody being so crazy for Surefyre Wieners and Sherman Fyre himself walking the streets daily, greeting everybody in Blue Sky with is infections energy and slightly unnerving smile, the grocery store managers knew that Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners were no longer popular. Even the sales of Family Time French Fries dropped drastically once the people Blue Sky started buying Surefyre Wieners. It was as though they forgot that you could eat Family Time French with foodstuffs that were not Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners. Yes, it was a dark time and not just for Hal Leisure but for Blue Sky. The Blue Sky folk just didn't know it yet.
However, I would like to point out that not everybody in Blue Sky stopped being loyal to Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners. There is at least one man in town who in spite of all of the new attention now being heaped upon Surefyre Wieners, stayed true to the brand of wiener that he loved the most.
Let us go across town and pay another visit to Brent Holland and his family. It's Tuesday night which if you recall, and I'm really hoping you do, that Tuesday night in the Holland household is Tuesday Wiener night. Brent Holland has just sat down at his table with his daughter and his son and they are waiting for his wife, to bring out the silver tray heaped high with roasted Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners for Tuesday Wiener Night. She is of course also preparing Family Time French Fries for everyone as well. They are such a hit with the Holland Household that they have become a part of not just Tuesday Wiener Night, but they are now a part of any family event or special occasion that the Holland's may celebrate on Saturdays as well.
I'm going to turn the table over to Brent Holland now. It appears he's had a bit of a bad day, and he looks a little rough so, let's see what is happening in his world.
"Well family, son and daughter, it sure is nice to come home after a hard day of not selling pens and find my family waiting for me at the table and being just as excited as I am that it is Tuesday. Tuesday Wiener night taken on a whole new meaning right kids? Tuesday Wiener night now means loyalty and not just enjoyment of Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners Wiener's. I know you've probably heard a lot of the kids at school talking about how much their families enjoy Surefyre Wieners; kids who belong to families who used to be loyal to Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners as we still are. I just, I just wanted to ask how you, son and daughter, were handling this new situation?"
"What new situation would that be exactly Dad?"
"The whole new situation being that we are one of the only families in town that have stayed loyal to Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners. The new situation being that you hang around with kids who belong to families who used to be loyal to Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners, but are now happily riding on the Surefyre Wiener bandwagon. "
"Gee, Daddy, I don't really know how to put this but we don't really talk about wieners at school..."
"Pardon me, daughter?"
"I'm sorry Daddy, but what kind of wiener's other families preferred to eat at home never really comes up. No it's... It's just what we talk about other things like boys and music we like... you know, girl stuff Daddy."
"Yes really. I hope that doesn't upset you didn't think this is a case where I needed to lie to make you feel better... You know the way I lie about and how much I really enjoy Tuesday Wiener night?"
"No no; I understand completely. I understand the wieners would not than necessarily be a topic of conversation amongst young girls. That's okay. I'm glad that you didn't lie to me because there is no need. But thank you for continuing to lie to me about enjoying Tuesday Wiener night. After all the on goings with the town no longer being loyal to its finest homegrown product, I'm not sure I could take it. Keep up the lie. Now son... How about you? Are you having any issues at school when it comes to your friend's families now preferring Surefyre Wieners over Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners? Has it come to fisticuffs in the playground?"
"Yes – yes, I think I'm having issues."
"Well you are sporting a rather large black eye right now so I was just wondering exactly what the reason for that is and my first guess would be that it is about wieners and loyalty and all things that I hold dear."
"Yeah it was it was totally about wieners. I heard some kids in the back of playground talking about how they now eat Surefyre Wieners instead of Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners and I went up to them and said 'Hey that's really, really bad because my Dad, he loves Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners and on Tuesday nights we enjoy Tuesday Wiener Night and I think it's not cool the everybody now thinks that Surefyre Wieners are better.'"
"So you went up and confronted them then they punched you?"
"Yes that's exactly what happened."
"Yep I wouldn't lie about something like that that! No, I wouldn't lie about wieners. My getting punched had nothing to do with the boys planning on telling the principal that I was the one responsible for filling her desk with snakes and worms and dirt and whatever else I could find in the parking lot out back and then gluing her desk shut for the second time. That's not what they were talking about. They were talking about wieners and when I heard them talking about the wieners, and not the principal, I got mad and I threatened them and before I got a chance to get them to change their minds about their wieners they punched me."
"Well son, that is quite a heroic tale."
"I thought so… I thought it was best to speak the truth..."
"So it really was but the wieners and not about principal's desk again"
"No Dad just like last time I never glued the principal's desk shut. This was all about wieners."
"Well that is – it's hard you know son when you have to stand up for your principles I'm proud to you. Thank-you."
"I think you're letting him get away with stuff at school again, I don't think he's telling the truth."
"That's where you're wrong daughter. Your brother is telling the truth; the truth about loyalty and truth about wieners. Whatever else happens on Tuesdays doesn't matter to me daughter. If your brother was to set the school on fire and stand there basking in its fiery glow and cackling at his mischief, if he did that on Tuesday and did it with Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners in his hands and he roasted those Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners over the fire and he brought them home for dinner, well I would just be so proud because he was loyal to Tuesday Wiener night."
"Yeah but he would've set the school on fire..."
"Tuesday Wiener night daughter and Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners they go hand-in-hand and that is the way it is in my house— I'm sorry our house. Look I don't mean to be up in your grill or whatever you young people say but, I've just had a rough few weeks and the only thing that gets me through is knowing that on Tuesday nights my wife will present to me on a silver platter under a silver lid Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners with a side of Family Time French Fries. Do you understand me?"
"Yes Daddy... I think I do... Are you crying?"
"Crying? No, I'm not crying. I'm just passionate about wieners."
"Oh, okay...you just to sound really stuffy."
"No daughter I just have cold which is also adding to my pain today because I can't smell the roasted Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners very well. Actually the Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners almost smell different than they normally do. Yes, my cold must be messing with my sense of smell, because they actually smell spicier than usual and why am I not seeing floss on the table?"
Well...I think we're on the brink of something unnerving and I'm in need of a breather, aren't you? Join me in the next Chapter, Chapter Fourteen when we will find together why there is no floss on the dining room table at the Holland Household on Tuesday Wiener Night!