How are you all on this fine Saturday? As we are now over halfway through November, for those of us participating in NanoWriMo, we should be halfway through our novels. I'm writing buddies with a few people and most of them are WAY ahead of me, way past the halfway point of 25K and that is OK. For me, this year, the goal is to get to 50K. In 2010, I got to 50K and way beyond. Last year, my hands begged me to quit and I listened, ending my novel at exactly the halfway point, but this year, I'm pacing myself and my limbs are playing nicely with my imagination. I most likely will not be complete this novel come the end of the month, but it will be at 50K. If I'm not finished, I will finish it. This novel has worked it's way into my family psyche and I know Sorcha would be crushed if I didn't finish it.
This means, dear blog fans, that I will be posting way into December. You see, what I have posted for your reading bemusement is not all of what I have rambled into existence. I am happy to report that what I have posted plus what I haven't posted equals where it I should be in terms of word count. I have to do my quota for today to keep on track, but it will get done and I will continue to be where I'm supposed to be.
I know this is a gripping blog post, so I'll let you be so that you can get to Chapter Eight. It's already a cruel thing that I've done to you...keeping from Chapter Eight this long.
Well, now, wasn't chapter seven a chapter filled with mystery, seduction and enough hints to sink a ship! That chapter, of course, was a bit of a step back in terms of time in our story. I'd put it at about...two weeks ago. Or more precisely, the evening before the commercial shoot for Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners new product Family Time French Fries.
But enough from me; it's time to return to the meeting from chapter six...the meeting we abruptly left...you do remember do you not? Oh come now...it wasn't that long ago. Or maybe it was. Perhaps you got to the end of chapter six and put your book down and walked away from it for a week or two or month or whatever. We've all done it. We become grossly involved in a book and stop with the full and honest intention that we'll return to it shorty, but then...you stumble upon a different book, perhaps one you've been wanting to read for a long time, perhaps a better book than the one you were in the middle of (and in this case, I can see how that would be an easy thing to do) and sort of forget about the book you meant to get back to.
And then, when the day arrives where you remember said book and how you abandoned it, a sense of guilt falls over your shoulders like a wet blanket and you sit down and try to find where you were. If this is the case for you, if you really don't remember what happened in chapter six, then you'd better go back and look because I don't have the time or the inclination to give you a synopsis.
So, let's go. We're diving right back into chapter six from where we left off. Ok, ok...I'll give you the last sentence of chapter six. Quit your griping. It was "A man named Sherman Fyre!" Now, that all you get; we're moving on; we're back in the meeting.
"Mr. Leisure, do you really not know of whom I speak or the company he runs?"
"Meaty Member, I'm going to have to ask you to back off. I'm finding myself in potentially embarrassing situation again and I feel very close to...frowning and opening my trap door, so, please, let us just move on from this Sherman Fyre and his so called Surefyre Wieners; a company that I have apparently been in competition for the last fifteen years and yet had no idea."
"As you wish, Mr. Leisure; I didn't mean to draw you into a frown again...or tempt you to open your trap door."
"It's quite alright, Meaty Member, and as for the trade show...I believe I accidently went to the wrong one last year...unless the picnic industry has decided against selling picnic fair and has now decided to turn their focus on dental equipment?"
"No, sir, they have not. It sounds as though you went to the dental trade show that was on at the same time as the picnic trade show. They were at the same location, but in different buildings."
"Oh yes, that makes a lot more sense. Surprisingly though, I did have a really great time at the dental trade show. Normally I don't care for dentists, but I and chatted with a lot of friendly dentists about their trade and how they rely on poor dental care for their bread and butter. A few of them seemed put out that I actually give away a free pack of floss with every pack of delicious Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners. But speaking of that, do you know, Meaty Members, if the people of Blue Sky are still really enjoying receiving a free pack of floss with every pack of delicious Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners? I would love to be able to give away a free pack of floss to everybody in our superb country who buys Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners but I just…I'm not sure would be very cost-effective. I can only hope that they understand the importance of tooth care and floss regularly."
"Oh yes sir, we have it on good authority that people of Blue Sky really, really do appreciate receiving a pack of floss whenever they buy a pack of delicious Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners. How could they sir? Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners are so packed with...ah...meat and other things that you put in wieners, that our customers are often impressed by the amount of meat that ends up in their teeth. The floss really, really helps to show them just how jam-packed Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners are with...ah... meat and other things that you put in wieners. I have it on good authority that the dentists around here play a lot of golf."
"They play a lot of golf?"
"Yes Mr. Leisure, they play a lot of golf because they spend less time working on the people of Blue Sky's teeth. Most people in Blue Sky eat Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners which means that most people in Blue Sky have a lot of floss in their homes, and so when they eat Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners, because their teeth are so full of...ah... meat and other things you put in wieners, when they are done their meal of Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners, they floss immediately. Actually, I have it on good authority that the people of Blue Sky not only enjoy flossing after consuming a meal of Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners, but after ever meal. Flossing has become a compulsive habit for most of the people of Blue Sky. Thanks to Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners, and the floss that comes with each pack of delicious Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners, you Mr. Leisure have created a town full of people who have extremely healthy teeth and healthy gums. Actually, Mr. Leisure, I have it on good authority, that due to your Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners and floss combination in Blue Sky, our town now has one of the highest rates of healthy smiles in our superb country."
"You can't be serious, Meaty Member?"
"Yes, Mr. Leisure, I am very serious. It's really a wonderful statistic and one that we should be very proud of. We thought about waiting and announcing this wonderful piece of news at next week's Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners parade but Mr. Leisure, we just couldn't wait to tell you and we wanted to share the news with you as soon as possible."
"Wow that is well…as a man who puts dental care above most things in his life, this is most joyful news. I think I have to cry now but don't you worry, Meaty Members, these are happy tears, happy tears that will now run down a face still holding a smile and not a frown. There is no room for frowning in this meeting. I am more proud of my Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners than I think I have ever been. I am a man, a simple man that enjoys flossing wiener...ah...meat out of my teeth because I like to see how much...ah...meat I put in my wieners and I wanted this joy of packed wiener...ah...meat goodness to reach the masses. I am also a man, a simple man, who enjoys a healthy smile and clean teeth and, as I mentioned a few minutes ago, I am not overly fond of the dentists, practicing good dental health has always been important to me. The less time I can spend in the interrogation chair—I mean dental chair— the better. Flossing regularly gives me that edge. I had hoped the people of Blue Sky would embrace the floss, even use the floss, but I had no idea that I would start a healthy smile revolution. You just never know where putting a lot of...ah meat... and other things you put in wieners will take you."
"Yes sir, it is excellent news and will be excellent publicity for Blue Sky and Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners. We will announce this wonderful news, along with the fact that Family Time French Fries are the number one rated French Fry in this superb country, at next week's Annual Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wiener Parade. It is sure to be very happy news for the people of Blue Sky."
"Yes, the parade. I tell you I am very excited about our Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wiener Parade this year. We have many local and talented bands participating in this year's festivities. Every band that is participating has written a song in their own style about Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners. These songs could be about how much they love Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners. These songs of could be about how Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners have changed their lives. These songs could be about the floss and healthy smiles. I left the theme fairly wide open in that I suggested the songs be about anything, as long as they had something to do with Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners. If we're lucky, I'm hoping that perhaps one of the bands will have time to write a song about how much our new product Family Time French Fries means to them. That would be swell and a really nice addition to all the Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wiener songs that are going to be performed on parade day. Yes, Meaty Members, I am confident that it is going to be a very, very exciting day. Am I right?"
"Yes sir we, all of us, all of your Meaty Members, your Meaty Media Team and all of your Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wiener staff members, we all agree that the Annual Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wiener Parade will be a most exciting day and a great triumph for you."
"We'll see about that."
"Yes we – wait, wait a minute, Meaty Members. Who just said that? Who said 'We'll see about that.' It sounded sinister and more than a little on the negative side. I won't have that kind of tone thrown around all willy-nilly at Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners. This company was built on positivity and perseverance and all things good. I put a lot of things in my wieners, other than...ah...meat that may be suspect but this company is not built on anything as chemical and as potent as negativity. I demand to know now who said that ominous sentence in the negative tone."
"Well Mr. Leisure as your Meaty Member group Spokesman, I just got up to inspect and investigate and believe I heard that voice coming from the hall but I was unable to locate anyone out there who would ever utter such a terrible phrase in such a negative tone."
"Are you sure Meaty Member, that you saw nothing unusual?"
"No Mr. Leisure, but I see now that your receptionist is coming towards your office at a rather rapid pace and I believe I'd better move out of the way before she knocks me—"
"Mr. Leisure! Oh, Mr. Leisure!"
"Yes, Florence, my dear receptionist, what is it? Please calm yourself and tell me, what have you in your hands that caused you to rush all the way from your desk at a rapid pace to bring to me?"
"It's a note, Mr. Leisure. It was just dropped on my desk. I didn't catch the name of the man who left this note. He seemed to be in a rather big hurry, but if I can recall correctly I believe that this man was a stranger, a dapper stranger who was wearing a fairly fine red suit."
"OH, my goodness, the investor! Meaty Members, it appears it was the investor who disappeared from our meeting a couple weeks ago! Florence, just to be sure that it is the same man that was in here couple weeks ago, telling me about his fairly large pile of money and its dream to be part of our Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wiener team, tell me did this man, this dapper stranger in a fairly fine red suit did he also have an abundantly lush mustache?"
"Yes Mr. Leisure...I believe he did."
"My stars, this is a very interesting development; thank you for bringing me this note, Florence. You may go now but on your way out, could you please pick up that poor Meaty Member that you knocked over on your way in here. You were going out rather rapid pace and perhaps you didn't notice him standing in the doorway."
"Yes sir, Mr. Leisure."
"Okay team, gather around. Let's see what this man, this person who is still a stranger and the one with a fairly fine red suit coupled with an abundantly lush mustache, let us read what has to say. The note says..."
"Mr. Leisure, sir are you all right? You seem to be almost… frowning!"
"Yes Meaty Member, I believe I am almost at the state of frown, and oh it hurts so much!"
"What does the note say? Can you read it out loud or will it hurt too much?"
"Yes...I can do it. I will not let that dapper stranger in his fairly fine red suit and his abundantly lush mustache defeat me! The note says what we all heard earlier just outside the doorway. It says 'We'll see about that'."
Oh my dear readers. Cue a startling, and yet totally expected, gasp from the Meaty Members who are now standing around Hal's desk and staring at the note in disbelief. They cannot believe that for the second time in as many weeks they are witnessing a frown on the face of the man that they thought could never frown. They back away slowly and wonder if Hal is going to open the trap door and throw frozen Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners at their heads. They also realize, on some level, that the gauntlet has been thrown down; that Hal has been challenged, but by whom?
What exactly could this mean for Hal Leisure? What does quick return of the dapper stranger in a fairly fine red suit and the abundantly lush and obviously fake mustache signify to Hal Leisure and his company Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners?
Well I don't know anything about it. Actually, that is a lie because you know darn well that I do, but I won't tell you because that would be giving stuff away. Although, unless you don't pick up hints very well, you probably have already figured out whom the dapper stranger in the fairly fine red suit is. I don't think I need to spell it out for you. Or maybe I do? Well that's too bad. Perhaps as well, I need to back off on the hints for a while. If you think I've dropped too many hints and you are worried that they aren't really hints and that I'm just pulling your leg leading you down a thorny path of nonsense and plot points that may go nowhere, you may be right. I may just be having a bit of fun with you.
Or maybe I'm putting you directly on the path and pushing you in the right direction so that you don't get lost in this bizarre tale of wieners, fries, floss and an overabundance of words. Did you ever think that I may genuinely be trying to help you? I know these people well. I know how they ramble and like to repeat themselves over and over. Perhaps I'm just trying, in my way, to keep you interested in this story.
Well, whatever you believe my role to be in this strange tale, I guess there's only one way to find out whether my hints are real or red herrings. Come join me in chapter nine where Blue Sky is all ready for the Annual Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners Parade. And boy howdy, I do love me a parade.
I especially love a parade when the foreshadowing calls for a lot of rain.