Saturday, November 10, 2012

Nano 2012: Top Dog, Chapter Five

Hello Blog Fans

Well, the Nano 2012 saga keeps getting weirder, but I can't help it. It's just what my brain wants to spill out and yes I know; it's not exactly the most concise story I've every written, but it's the style. It's supposed to be a little of the mouth and repetitive. It's just the way it's happening.

I hope you're all having a grand weekend. Ours is quiet and that's a change for us so we're taking advantage of it by doing crazy things like...wearing rougher cloths, not using hair product and, in Sorcha's case, spending the day in her pajamas, sitting half on the floor, half on the couch and watching "Sorcha Videos" from when she was a lot younger. Plus she has a cold and doesn't feel up to much else.

So, I've got to get back to "Top Dog". Chapter six is shaping up nicely and I don't want to keep you waiting too long.

But first...Chapter Five! Keep in mind too...that this is first draft's not perfect. :)


Chapter Five

Welcome back everybody. It is nice to see that you made it this far. Just to set up the chapter it's about two weeks after the commercial shoot, which means two weeks after we were over at Brent Holland's place for dinner and right now we are about to join— What? No you can't have chips for dessert. You already had chips today. No, I didn't almost let you have them twice the other day. It was an accident. I don't remember everything you do. Maybe instead you should have some fruit. What? Don't get sassy with me. I've a mind to eat all of your Halloween candy if you sass me one more time. Now get back to the kitchen. I'm trying to tell these folks here story.

I'd like to apologize for that interruption good readers. My daughter was just inquiring about her dessert options and I had to set her straight. I know, I know it's hard to say no to your children, but you do what you've got to do if you're going to raise them right. No I will not get down from my high horse. I'm not the tallest person to ever walk the earth so from time to time I like to preach a little and enjoy the view from on high. Do you want to hear what's happening at chapter five or not?

Okay then; let's get back to this fine story. As I was saying, here we are about two weeks after the commercial shoot and the visit to Brent Holland's on his Tuesday Wiener Night. We are about to go back into Hal Leisure's comfortable office where we will observe the goings on with Hal Leisure and his Meaty Members. Do I need to mention the decor again? Or do you remember what it looks like from when I described to you in Chapter three? I hope you remember, I mean it wasn't that long ago. Yes I realize the chapter four was a little bit longer than it probably needed to be but I felt very strongly that it was important that you get to know Brent Holland and his family and how much he loves Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners.

And while we are back on the subject of Brent Holland and his family, I'm happy to report that (and if you care about Brent Holland and his family at all you've probably been wondering) the Family Time French Fries were a huge success with the Holland family. Actually, and more importantly, I have come to learn that Family Time French Fries are not just to hit with Brent Holland and his family but also with most of, if not all the fine folks in Blue Sky. In even better news, the thousands of families in this superb country have also embraced Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners latest product, Family Time French Fries. In fact, they are now the the number one selling French fry in our superb country.

Oh, but wait. I'm giving away information that was going to be told to Hal in the meeting. Hal knows that sales for his Family Time French Fries are great, but he doesn't know about the number one part. Oh well, just ignore what I just told you about the huge success of the Family Time French Fries. When you read it later on in chapter five, just pretend it was the first time you heard it. You don't want to disappoint yourself.

Today, Hal Leisure is in a fantastic mood, which is pretty much his normal state, but lately he's been in an extra, super fabulous mood and since the release of his Family Time French Fries is going so well, I don't think anybody in his company can blame him for being extra jovial and diligent in his morning greetings. This morning for example, he didn't just greet everyone in his company, whether they were standing in the lobby, cowering in their cubicles or hiding in the bathroom, with a hearty hello and maybe a handshake if the person he was greeting had his or her hands free, he also brought all his staff members his latest invention "Wakeup Wieners".

At this current time, these are not an official Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wiener products, but that doesn't mean they never will be. You see from time to time, Hal gets it in head to do something new with his wieners and uses his staff as "lab rats" so to speak and if they respond favorably to latest wiener treat invention, he considers it for mass production. Has this ever happened? Not yet, and this puzzles Hal; it's something that keeps him up at night; why doesn't anyone at Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners exuberantly comment on his wiener treat inventions? Didn't anyone enjoy his "Baniener Splits"? (That's a banana cut in half, but in the middle, instead of delicious ice cream, Hal placed a Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wiener topped with a dollop each of ketchup, mustard and relish. I know...I wouldn't eat it either.) Why didn't even one of his loyal staff members tell him how much they loved "Wiener Wellingtons"? (That's a piece of Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wiener, smothered in liverwurst and baked pastry.) Hal had really been hoping that "Baniener Splits" or the "Wiener Wellingtons" or one of his many other wiener treats would have been huge hits with his staff. Even a glimmer of "Yes, Hal; these are wonderful" would have added a new product to his company. But, nothing was ever said, not even from his Meaty Members. However, instead of getting upset, Hal just chalked the silence of his staff members to wanting to simply focus on the company's original product, that of being Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners.

When Hal came up with the idea of adding French fries to his product list, he was a bit worried, that his staff would reject the idea of Family Time French Fries since they didn't seem to want new Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wiener products, but he needn't have worried; his staff was 100% on board with a potato sidekick for his wieners.

So, last night Hal was so happy with the numbers he'd received from his Meaty Members about how his sales were for his new product Family Time French Fries that he couldn't sleep anyway. Instead of tossing and turning all night while his absurdly beautiful Blue Sky wife ignored his every attempt for communication, he decided to get up and do something extra special for his staff. In the wee hours, still clad in his jammies, Hal cooked up a batch, a huge batch I might add, he has a fair number of people working for him at Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners, he cooked up a huge batch of Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners.

Now where he got the crazy idea to turn them into something approaching a breakfast food, I'll never know, but after he cooked up the wieners he placed each Wiener on a Popsicle stick, dipped it in really sticky bath of maple syrup and rolled them in cornflakes mixed with instant coffee crystals. He then placed them on his many, many trays and placed the many, many trays in his industrial sized refrigerator that he has out in his garage.

You see, because Hal has a habit of making treats for his employees, he is more than justified his need (a need that he's justified to his absurdly beautiful Blue Sky wife, his children and to himself ) for many, many trays, and a large, industrial sized walk in refrigerator in his garage and a rather large van that holds all of the many, many trays and makes it easy for Hal to deliver his nighttime treat inventions to his company in the morning.

Therefore, bright and early this morning he packed up his van with his many, many trays filled with his latest invention" Wakeup Wieners" and drove his brand new, very special wiener treats to the office. Everyone who walked through the front door was handed a "Wakeup Wiener" immediately by either Hal himself or from one of his Meaty Members. (The Meaty Members are always enlisted to help hand out the new food invention on wiener treat mornings.) Those staff members who had been alerted to the news of the "Wakeup Wieners" via social networking by co-workers who had already been subjected to the Hal's latest invention, went got into the building through the back or through passages that Hal still hasn't discovered. With the skills of a half trained ninja, they quickly slipped into their cubicles, hoping to be unnoticed and not confronted with "Wakeup Wieners" but unfortunately, they were hunted down shortly after. And of course, as I said earlier on in this tale, those staff members who dared to hide in the bathroom to avoid morning greetings or breakfast treats were rooted out because there is no hiding from Hal. No, even though they were desperate to avoid Hal and latest wiener treats they had the "Wakeup Wieners" thrust upon them while they were in the bathroom doing their business. Sometimes I think Hal's Meaty Members need to get a little confidence and talk to Hal Leisure about "boundaries".

Now that is easier said than done because Hal, he's just so happy all the time that most people find it very hard to say no to him. This is the reason for the silence after a wiener treats. Nobody wants to say "No, Mr. Leisure, we don't like your wiener treats. Please, don't make these for the general public now or ever!" They just let the heavy silence sit until Hal moves on. Nobody at Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners want to be responsible for wiping that smile off Hal Leisure's face. It would just be too sad.

However, at Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners, and all over Blue Sky, there are some people, a scattered few, who say that Hal is too happy all the time and that perhaps it's not real. They say that perhaps Hal Leisure is trying to mask crippling insecurity or perhaps a dark past… As I said before, nobody in Blue Sky knows exactly who Hal Leisure was before he arrived in Blue Sky and married his absurdly beautiful Blue Sky wife.

Cue ominous music...

But let's get our butts back in Hal's office. Look, even if the glaring pictures of framed family happiness unnerve you, it's sort of essential that you are here for this meeting. So, come on now; let us join Hal and his Meaty Members and find out where they're going to go from here. With sales skyrocketing, or may I say "Blue Sky" rocketing...Yes, that is a good one, thank-you very much. You can pause and absorb that if you'd like. Ok, are you done? No? Hmm, I think you're stalling as to avoid going back in Hal's office. You don't have to look at the glaring pictures of framed family happiness. Just turn your back on the pictures and pretend they aren't there. Come now, we've got to move on.

As I was saying, because sales are Blue Sky Rocketing, some people out there may think that Meaty Teeth's Leisure Wieners is on its way to an award-winning year and those people may be right. However, there are other people that may think the complete opposite. Yes, there are people that truly believe that when you go up so high, when you rocket in Blue Sky (yes that rhyme was deliberate don't give me a hard time) the only way to go from there, is down.

Where are you going? thought that sounded like the end of the chapter even though I've only said about a 100 times that we're going into Hal's office whether you like it or not? Actually, I'm not even going to argue with you. The next chapter is going to be quite chatty and we should all take a break before we go to that meeting. But before we head out, let me end this chapter by saying since you may be getting the feeling that I'm one of those people that thinks that Hal Leisure and his Blue Sky rocketing days are about to come to an end, I think I should tell you that it doesn't really matter what I feel as what I feel is not really important to the narrative. What is important for you to know is that for Hal Leisure and his Meaty Members, there is no down.

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